Renée Zellweger dating

Renee Zellweger and Tom Cruise starred in one movie together in 1996, and ever since tabloids have been trying to convince you they're romantically involved in real life. They're not, but here are ... More about the Renee Zellweger and Jim Carrey dating / relationship. More about the Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper dating / relationship. More about the Renee Zellweger and Jack White dating / relationship. More about the Renee Zellweger and Luke Perry dating / relationship. More about the Renee Zellweger and Andre Balazs dating / relationship. Renée Zellweger Says She’s the ‘Ex-Girlfriend’ of a Gay Man “I’m a customer,” the actress says of the LGBTQ+ community. “I’m a constituent!” Renée Zellweger has had encounters with André Balazs (2007), Paul McCartney (2007), Matthew Perry (2002 - 2003) and Josh Pate (1996 - 1997).. Renée Zellweger is rumoured to have hooked up with John Stamos (2011) and Luke Perry (2007).. About. Renée Zellweger is a 51 year old American Actress. Born Renée Kathleen Zellweger on 25th April, 1969 in Katy, Texas, USA, she is famous for Jerry ... Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger are NOT getting married, new report claims their 'secret romance' never existed ... been rooting for Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger's relationship when rumors started doing the rounds of the two stars dating. However, it is now being said that nothing is reportedly brewing between the two Hollywood icons. On 25-4-1969 Renée Zellweger (nickname: Zelly, Renée Kathleen Zellweger) was born in Katy, Texas, United States. She made her 45 million dollar fortune with Bridget Jones Diary. The celebrity & actress is dating , her starsign is Taurus and she is now 51 years of age. Despite the fact that Case 39 was primarily filmed in 2006, Renée Zellweger and her co-star Bradley Cooper didn't start dating until 2009 (via People), ahead of the film's 2010 release. The ... Renée Zellweger and Kenny Chesney took the world by surprise when they got married in May 2005 after knowing each other for five months. But it was perhaps even more surprising when the two ... Renee Zellweger was previously married to Kenny Chesney (2005). She has been engaged to Jim Carrey (2000). Renee Zellweger has been in relationships with Bradley Cooper (2009 – 2011), Dan Abrams (2009), John Krasinski (2007), Damien Rice (2004), George Clooney (2003), Jack White (2003 – 2004), Rory Cochrane (1993 – 1995) and Sims E ... Who is Renée Zellweger dating right now? Full boyfriends list, ex and current. Check out dating history, relationships status and compare the info.

Reality check, y’all

2020.08.09 06:36 karathrace99 Reality check, y’all

Ok, so advice.
My Mom, younger sister, and I were just watching Jerry Maguire. Great movie. Sister and I hadn’t seen it. Anyway, a little bit into the movie (is this a spoiler cause it was 24 years ago? I’m just gonna tag it anyway. 😂) Tom Cruise and Renée Zellweger go on their first date and get back to Dorothy’s house — god help me, all I can think of is Dot from Sunday in the Park with George, lol — and >! they start making out pretty, wow, on the front porch. !< I’m looking at this screen like “Y’all are outside!” 😂 I’m laughing some, my Mom and sister are laughing. Then, I’m asking “is this how people live their lives? Have I been living under a rock?” My mom responds, coyly, “I’ve had some front porch experiences.” I ask, “How have I been living different from you, that this kind of stuff has happened to you?!” Like, where’s the lie, guys?
I’m almost 21, about to be a senior in college, and thus far, I’ve been to all of 2 “parties” in college. One was 2nd year and a birthday party. Other people got slammed and stoned, hard. I drank guava juice and talked to their pet bunny. Second time was a theatre gathering (not even a cast party after closing) at one of my cast mates’ apartments, 3rd year. Most of them drank and/or smoked. I didn’t then, either. It was lovely, though. Probably the first time I’d ever enjoyed something like that. I actually felt at home with those people, so that’s why, I think. Nonetheless.
Like: That character, Dorothy — Renée Zellweger — was 26. Jerry was, well, Jerry was Tom Cruise at 34. It was a movie. I get that. But, I’m about to be 21, about to finish college, and I’ve kissed all of one person, like 4-5 times total, my first year. Wasn’t a bad experience! It’s just.. this has been a common thread in my life.
I have several friends who haven’t been sexually active, or have barely been. Everyone has a different experience. But, there are also people who have definitely made out with people on front porches, you know? Kiss. Hold hands. You know— any of it. Doesn’t seem like an uncommon experience and yet it seems like a parallel universe to me.
I’m LGBTQ+ (young bi+ woman), I am pretty young, and I’ve heard some of this isn’t super uncommon for some LGBTQ+ people, but still. Where’s the lie? I would love to hear other people’s experiences.
Have a good quarantine night, watch Jerry Maguire before it leaves Netflix (it’s a good movie, this has been a PSA), and I’m thinking good thoughts in y’all’s directions. 💛
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2020.07.29 11:08 greenshokeen I rewatched Chicago (2002)

I decided to rewatch this excellent musical after a very very long time, and I am so glad I did. As a former dancer, I have always had a soft spot for this movie. Of course, its based on the 1975 play, but Catherine Zeta Jones and Renée Zellweger are so good in this movie, you just can't take your eyes off of them. Each and every song is choreographed so well, and the energy that both the actresses have dedicated into reflecting through their characters is mind blowing.
Catherine Zeta Jones won an award for best supporting actress in this movie, and wow, she did indeed deserve that award! She doesn't get much screen time in the movie, but every time she appears in any of the songs or the scenes, her acting and dance gets you immediately. Her energy is so captivating and her performance in Cell Block Tango so powerful; she is just so bloody brilliant!
Roxie remains one of my favourite songs till date (probably because I performed to this number years ago). Renée does a very good job of portraying a narcissistic psychopath who is obsessed with chasing fame and the limelight. Her attitude towards the murder and the publicity she gets from the crime throughout the movie is exhibited by her with a consistent 'psycho mode' form. Definitely one of the best underrated performances done by Zellweger. I don't understand why she gets so much slack for this movie, as I personally think she portrayed the character of Roxie very well in the movie. Yes, her energy during the performances lacked the charm that Catherine Zeta Jones projected. However, that is a given considering that Velma has always been a professional performer, and Roxie was just some random chorus performer who was never that good. Thus, the rivalry and the power play between the two female characters.
The cinematography - the boudoir setting, dark lighting, 20s jazz scene throughout the movie is of course quite formulaic, but somehow it's not tacky (like in movies such as Burlesque where the bar scenes always look suffocating and cheesy); thanks to the very expensive budget that was invested in here. However, it can get very tricky to refrain from trying to replicate the 20s setting and mess it up by overdoing 'all that jazz' 😏.
I will always continue to have this movie in my all time favourite list for the music, choreography, and of course Catherine Zeta Jones. It's like a crime documentary filmed in the 20s by a jazz enthusiast! What's not to love there!?
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2020.06.25 23:39 ChiOwner Watched the worst horror movie ever

I usually enjoy the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies, yesterday there was one airing where I live that I hadn’t seen before. It’s the 1995 version with Renée Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey. It was so bad that I think this might be the worst movie I have ever seen, in any genre (I am unsure between this and Date Movie) Has anyone else seen it? Did anyone actually like it? It has a 3/10 rating on IMDB!
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2020.05.24 23:09 finnagains Unexpected Movie Masterpieces to Watch in Quarantine - by David Sims (The Atlantic) 10 April 2020

Some were blasted by critics, some flopped at the box office, and all are ripe to attain cult-classic status.
With new cinema releases grinding to a halt in response to the spread of the coronavirus, I’ve used these weeks of self-quarantine to cast an eye backward over the cinematic canon, to rewatch old favorites, and to fill in viewing gaps. Now I’ve begun evaluating films that, for whatever reason, didn’t get a fair shake when they were released. Some were blasted by critics, and others simply made no impression at the box office; all of them are available to watch online, just waiting to become cult classics. The 30 films I’ve chosen as the most underrated are all from the past 25 years, and many belong to genres (rom-com, sci-fi, thriller) that are overlooked in serious critical circles. Some of my selections might seem obvious and others ludicrous, but all were made in the spirit of enjoyable debate and discovery.
the Box-Office Flops
Kino Lorber Archipelago (2010, directed by Joanna Hogg)
Joanna Hogg broke out in American art houses last year with her wonderful autobiographical work The Souvenir, but she’s been making terrific indie films for years. Archipelago might be her best. A quiet drama, it sees Edward (played by Tom Hiddleston, a year before Thor catapulted him to fame) gathering with his family on the remote British island of Tresco after quitting his job to travel the world. Many long-simmering tensions boil to the surface; Hiddleston (who is in most of Hogg’s movies) gives one of his best screen performances, and Hogg depicts subtle, polite infighting with humor and insight. No filmmaker has a better handle on the ridiculous foibles of the English upper-middle class.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Babe: Pig in the City (1998, directed by George Miller)
George Miller is the master of sequels. Each of his installments in the Mad Max series is innovative; his Happy Feet Two is quietly underrated. But he’s never made a follow-up as strange and beguiling as Babe: Pig in the City. Miller wrote and produced the first Babe, a charming, Oscar-winning success. In the director’s chair for part two, though, he turned the sweet fable of a pig who wanted to herd sheep into a grim fairy tale about life in the big city. The movie was a commercial disaster, but it’s a rewarding, beautifully designed work set in a fantasy city that mashes up landmarks from every modern metropolis. The plot, such as it is, follows Babe as he goes on a trip and mixes it up with more streetwise animal brethren (the director Noah Baumbach once said that the film’s closest thematic companion is Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut).
Watch it on: Hulu, HBO Beyond the Lights (2014, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood)
A gorgeous romantic drama about the pain and pleasure of pop stardom, Gina Prince-Bythewood’s remarkable Beyond the Lights made little impression at the box office on release, despite a star-making turn from Gugu Mbatha-Raw. The actor plays a Rihanna-esque figure named Noni Jean who falls for a police officer (Nate Parker) and tries to escape the limelight. Prince-Bythewood, who also wrote and directed the incredible Love & Basketball, is one of only a few people in Hollywood still trying to film genuine love stories, and she deserves many more chances to do so on the big screen.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Cadillac Records (2008, directed by Darnell Martin)
The smartest music biopic from a decade full of them (including 2004’s Ray and 2005’s Walk the Line, to name a couple), Darnell Martin’s portrayal of the rise and fall of Chess Records was woefully underseen in 2008. The film digs into the exploitative dynamics at work in so many early rock-and-roll labels, examining the troubled relationships between Leonard Chess (Adrien Brody) and his biggest stars: Muddy Waters (Jeffrey Wright), Etta James (Beyoncé Knowles), and Howlin’ Wolf (Eamonn Walker). The film has a harder edge than its contemporaries, and the musical performances are particularly sensational.
Watch it on: Crackle
Cloud Atlas (2012, directed by Lana Wachowski, Lilly Wachowski, and Tom Tykwer)
This is the most dizzyingly ambitious project in the Wachowski sisters’ expansive filmography. Adapting David Mitchell’s novel of the same name, Cloud Atlas encompasses six distinct stories, beginning with an 1849 naval adventure and zipping through the 1930s, the ’70s, and the present day before blasting to the clone-filled future of 2144 and ending in a postapocalyptic 2321. Members of the ensemble, including Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugh Grant, and Doona Bae, play different characters in each story line, and the film jumps backward and forward through time to reveal surprising thematic links. As with many a Wachowski project, you have to make a few logical leaps to get on board, but if you can, there’s no movie experience like it.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime
20th Century Fox Film Corp. Down With Love (2003, directed by Peyton Reed)
This knowing throwback to the “no-sex sex comedies” of the late ’50s and ’60s (like the Doris Day–starring Pillow Talk and Lover Come Back) was too clever for its own good on release. But it’s a fabulous, entertaining, and singular creation, both celebrating and subverting the innuendo-filled rom-coms of yesteryear. An impeccably styled Renée Zellweger and Ewan McGregor star as lifestyle writers who form a friendly rivalry in 1960s New York. Sarah Paulson and David Hyde Pierce round out the cast, and Peyton Reed (who had just directed Bring It On in 2000) plays off the visual language of his source material in stylish, innovative, and cheeky ways. When you watch, be sure to stick around for the fantastic musical number over the closing credits.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Dredd (2012, directed by Pete Travis)
Perhaps the best comic-book movie of the past decade was Dredd, a gritty adaptation of the Judge Dredd series that was a financial flop on release. Set in a dictatorial future in which armored policemen are empowered to dispense lethal justice for almost any crime, the film takes place entirely within a colossal tower block, following Dredd (Karl Urban) and a new trainee as they do battle with a sadistic mob boss (Lena Headey). It’s a gruesome but smart movie, at once lionizing and satirizing the ruthless efficiency of its hero. The film was written and produced by Alex Garland (Ex Machina, Annihilation), who has since become one of the most exciting sci-fi directors working today.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Killing Them Softly (2012, directed by Andrew Dominik)
Killing Them Softly is Andrew Dominik’s brutal follow-up to his painterly revisionist Western, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Also starring Brad Pitt, Killing Them Softly takes George V. Higgins’s hard-boiled ’70s crime novel Cogan’s Trade and updates it to the present day, following a mob robbery that goes wrong and the assassin (Pitt) hired to clean everything up. Dominik turns the web of competing criminal interests into a broad metaphor for the quagmire of the Iraq War. Killing Them Softly may have been too weird and slow for general audiences (it’s one of the few movies ever to earn an F on CinemaScore). But it’s bleakly funny and impressively acted by a cast that includes James Gandolfini, Ray Liotta, and Ben Mendelsohn.
Watch it on: Netflix Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005, directed by Shane Black)
The film that put Robert Downey Jr. back on the map was critically praised but ignored at the box office in 2005. An extremely metatextual crime comedy, it follows a thief (Downey Jr.) pretending to be an actor who gets mixed up in a murder and goes on the lam with his acting coach, a private investigator (Val Kilmer). The story line is as complicated as it sounds, but the thrill of Shane Black’s film lies in his hilariously punchy dialogue and his skill at making the most convoluted plotting flow with ease. The movie reintroduced Downey Jr. as a leading man after he’d spent years struggling with addiction: He was hired to play Iron Man mostly on the strength of this performance.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Premium Rush (2012, directed by David Koepp)
David Koepp’s bike-messenger thriller is far more robust than that description might suggest. Set on New York’s crowded streets, it follows Wilee (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), a deliveryman who picks up a package that’s tied to a criminal conspiracy; soon enough, he’s being chased around town by a crooked cop, Bobby Monday (Michael Shannon), who’s intent on taking him down. The story is told with unrelenting silliness, and Koepp translates Wilee’s brash confidence about weaving in and out of traffic into a visual roller-coaster ride. The highlight, though, is Shannon’s performance—he turns Monday into a living Looney Toon, gnashing his teeth and bulging out his eyes in fury with abandon.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Solaris (2002, directed by Steven Soderbergh)
Steven Soderbergh’s sci-fi opus was decried on release for daring to re-adapt a novel (by Stanisław Lem) that had already been turned into a film masterpiece (Andrei Tarkovsky’s sprawling 1972 work of the same name). But Soderbergh’s movie is a very different beast from Tarkovsky’s, stripping the story down to 99 minutes and focusing on the haunting romance at the center of the book. George Clooney plays Chris Kelvin, a psychologist haunted by the suicide of his wife, Rheya (Natascha McElhone). After hearing the mysterious distress signals sent out by a distant space station, he travels there—and finds Rheya, somehow re-created by the planet that the station is orbiting. The film includes stellar supporting performances by Viola Davis and Jeremy Davies, a beautifully understated score from Cliff Martinez, and some of the most compelling world-building in Soderbergh’s career.
Watch it on: Hulu
Sunshine (2007, directed by Danny Boyle)
This stunning space-mission drama from Danny Boyle and the screenwriter Alex Garland might be the Oscar-winning director’s best film. A wildly intense thriller about a last-gasp effort to restart the dying sun, Sunshine pits an outstanding cast (Cillian Murphy, Michelle Yeoh, Chris Evans, Rose Byrne, and more) against a monolithic enemy: the star at the center of our solar system, which Boyle depicts as an immovable, godlike force. As the voyagers’ ship gets closer to the sun, everything on board goes more and more haywire, and Boyle—who can depict the onset of madness better than almost anyone working—dials up the chaos.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Talk to Me (2007, directed By Kasi Lemmons)
Kasi Lemmons, whose most recent work is 2019’s Harriet, has long been one of Hollywood’s most criminally unheralded directors, and Talk to Me never got the wide audience it deserved in 2007. It’s a biopic of the controversial Washington, D.C., radio host Petey Greene (Don Cheadle) that’s unafraid to be messy, reflecting its subject’s surprising rise to fame as someone who fearlessly speaks his mind on the social and political issues of the 1970s. The film is grounded by excellent performances from Cheadle, Taraji P. Henson, and Chiwetel Ejiofor, who plays Greene’s put-upon manager, Dewey Hughes.
Watch it on: Hulu, Sling What If (2013, directed by Michael Dowse)
Also known as The F Word (its title was changed in America for obvious reasons), this extremely charming slow-burn rom-com was unfairly overlooked on release. It follows two people (Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan) who become friends but spend the entire time wondering if they’d be better off as lovers. Many relationship hijinks ensue, but the movie works because of the performances at its center, along with energetic supporting turns from Adam Driver and Mackenzie Davis, who were both on their way to bigger, franchise fame.
Watch it on: Prime The Yards (2000, directed by James Gray)
Back in 2000, James Gray’s operatic crime thriller was dumped unceremoniously into theaters by Harvey Weinstein and ignored by audiences. Like all the director’s films, though, it’s well worth viewing, combining hard-boiled storytelling with graceful visuals. Mark Wahlberg gives one of his best performances as Leo, an ex-con who returns to the fold of his shady New York family and gets tangled up in city corruption surrounding the subway system. A shifty Joaquin Phoenix plays Leo’s ne’er-do-well friend who is embroiled in a dramatic relationship with a young woman (Charlize Theron), while James Caan is suitably menacing as Leo’s morally dubious benefactor. The Yards also showed the first signs of Gray’s considerable talent; he’d go on to make We Own the Night, Two Lovers, The Lost City of Z, and Ad Astra.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime the critical bombs
Warner Bros. Addicted to Love (1997, directed by Griffin DUnne)
All of Griffin Dunne’s films (including the delightfully bizarre Practical Magic) deserve more appreciation, but Addicted to Love is a personal favorite of mine, a largely forgotten romantic comedy that satirizes gooey Hollywood storytelling tropes. It casts Meg Ryan and Matthew Broderick, two stalwarts of the rom-com genre, as a bitter pair united by a hatred of their respective exes, who are now dating each other. Ryan and Broderick spy on their former partners and, of course, eventually fall for each other, but the film never sacrifices its acidic tone, even as their relationship turns tender.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Armageddon (1998, directed by Michael Bay)
If nothing else, Armageddon is a crucial cultural artifact: a portent of American culture’s jingoism in the 2000s, when blockbuster action sequences had the tone and tenor of Budweiser commercials. Where Michael Bay’s prior film, The Rock (which is much better regarded), had tapped into the U.S. military’s dysfunction and despondency post-Vietnam, Armageddon sees the country uniting to obliterate an evil asteroid by turning to … the oil industry. (It also spends a good chunk of time mocking post-Soviet Russia.) Despite the ridiculous plotting and Bay’s frenetic editing of every set piece, Armageddon is the clearest distillation of his macho brand of propaganda, designed to have audiences cheering by the end (against their better judgment). Listen to Ben Affleck’s gleeful commentary to triple the entertainment factor.
Watch it on: Hulu, HBO Blackhat (2015, directed by Michael Mann)
Five years ago, one of the great contemporary directors still working made a globe-trotting cyber thriller starring Thor himself and was completely ignored. Booed by critics and dumped by its studio into the doldrums of January, Blackhat made only a shocking $8 million at the domestic box office. Yet it’s a terrific entry in Michael Mann’s esteemed body of work (which includes other movies, such as Heat, Miami Vice, and Manhunter, that were underrated in their day). Chris Hemsworth plays a hard-bodied hacker who’s released from prison to battle a shadowy online terrorist; like many of Mann’s later films, Blackhat is a story of the analog world’s struggle to confront its digital future, wrapped up in a very masculine action saga. If you can, try to catch the director’s cut, which cleans up some of the film’s dense plotting and airs regularly on FX.
Watch it on: FX The Box (2009, directed by Richard Kelly)
This is the third film directed by Richard Kelly, a onetime wunderkind who burst onto the scene with the 2001 cult hit Donnie Darko. The Box is also his best, though few have recognized it as such. It was a bomb on release, getting poor reviews and the rare dishonor of an F from CinemaScore. But its wild ambition is second to none, spinning Richard Matheson’s mordant short story “Button, Button” into a paranoid 1970s epic—part domestic drama, part psychological horror, part sci-fi fantasy revolving around a NASA expedition to Mars and magic portals. This movie has short, simple scares that I’ve never forgotten, and a plot convoluted enough to obsess over forever. I live in hope of a fourth film from Kelly.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Constantine (2005, directed by Francis Lawrence)
Fifteen years after its release, this remains one of the best and cleverest comic-book adaptations ever made, and probably the most underrated entry in Keanu Reeves’s cinematic career. This is a horror thriller that dives into biblical fantasy, casting a varied ensemble (Tilda Swinton, Djimon Hounsou, Gavin Rossdale, and Shia LaBeouf) as various angels and demons doing battle in modern-day Los Angeles. Based on Alan Moore’s Vertigo comic Hellblazer, Constantine junks a lot of the established hallmarks of the character John Constantine (he’s supposed to be a witty Brit who looks like Sting), but that doesn’t matter. Reeves’s laconic style is a perfect fit for the cynical antihero, and Rachel Weisz thrives in twin roles as sisters on either side of an infernal crime that Constantine is called to investigate.
Watch it on: DC Universe The Counselor (2013, directed by Ridley Scott)
Of the seven films made by Ridley Scott in the past decade, none is more critically reviled than The Counselor, a knotty crime drama written by Cormac McCarthy and featuring an all-star ensemble that includes Brad Pitt, Javier Bardem, Michael Fassbender, Penélope Cruz, and Cameron Diaz. Summarizing its noir-ish plot, which revolves around the Juárez, Mexico, drug trade, is impossible, but the film is worth watching simply because there’s nothing like it. McCarthy’s florid dialogue and Scott’s hazy visuals are bewitching, and every actor gives an energetic performance pushed to ridiculous heights (one scene in particular, involving Diaz and a Ferrari, is hypnotically baffling). The Counselor is a dark acquired taste, but a deeply satisfying one.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Universal pictures The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006, directed by Justin Lin)
After the success of the first Fast and the Furious movie, in 2001, Vin Diesel’s car-racing franchise struggled to stand out until 2009, when its original cast returned under Justin Lin’s direction for the surprise smash Fast & Furious. But the groundwork for that revitalization had been laid three years earlier with Tokyo Drift, Lin’s debut film in the series. Though Tokyo Drift introduces Sung Kang as the fan-favorite character Han, none of the series’s other beloved characters appears. Yet Lin’s skill with crisp action and quick-paced banter—built up in his fantastic breakthrough, Better Luck Tomorrow, which also starred Kang—makes this one of the best in the franchise.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Hulk (2003, directed by Ang Lee)
Coming off the resounding success of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Ang Lee could’ve made any film he wanted. He picked an adaptation of Marvel Comics’ most tortured star, the Hulk (Eric Bana). At the time, the movie was seen as odd, mocked for its wobbly CGI, and suffered one of the largest box-office drops in history for a blockbuster after its opening weekend. Viewed now, given the cookie-cutter format of contemporary superhero movies, it’s a startling experience. Lee turns his film into a living comic book, zooming in and out of boxy frames and inventing a visual language that could’ve become an exciting norm for the medium. The story, which sees the Hulk doing Freudian battle with his demonic father (Nick Nolte) and unearthing dark family secrets, is bizarre, and thrillingly so.
Watch it on: Starz In the Cut (2003, directed by Jane Campion)
Every film Jane Campion has directed since her Oscar-winning The Piano (1993) is underrated and underseen, but In the Cut was perhaps her biggest flop on release. That was partly because it subverted Meg Ryan’s usual bubbly onscreen persona, casting her as Frannie Avery, an introverted English teacher who starts dating the detective (Mark Ruffalo) investigating a murder case in her apartment building. It’s a sweaty, grisly, and sexually charged thriller that swerves from strange comedy to gory horror from scene to scene. But that tonal whiplash is one of Campion’s smartest storytelling tools, properly rattling viewers and plunging them into Frannie’s mixed-up headspace.
Watch it on: Crackle Jennifer’s Body (2009, directed by Karyn Kusama)
This is the movie that landed Karyn Kusama in “movie jail” for almost a decade: a gleefully bloody teen-horror comedy that was undone by the high expectations for its script. The writer, Diablo Cody, had won an Oscar the previous year for her Juno screenplay, and though this follow-up had that film’s humor, its intense gore and flippant humor were too much for critics at the time. Fortunately, Jennifer’s Body is already being reevaluated as a trashy classic, a nastier update of movies like Heathers that turns the social competition of high school into a literal bloodbath. Kusama has also reemerged as a filmmaker, with the excellent indie horror The Invitation.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Universal pictures Josie and the Pussycats (2001, directed by Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan)
This knowing revival of the Archie Comics series was a failure on release, but has deservedly attracted a cult following in the years since. It’s a pitch-perfect parody of the manufactured pop pipeline in the early 2000s, watching as the chipper rock band comprising Josie (Rachael Leigh Cook), Melody (Tara Reid), and Valerie (Rosario Dawson) is run through the major-label mill. Parker Posey and Alan Cumming play perfect corporate villains, and almost every scene is suffused with ostentatious subliminal advertising, with au courant brand names crowding the frame. It’s a bitingly clever work, with a great power-pop soundtrack that includes contributions from the late Adam Schlesinger.
Watch it on: Hulu with Cinemax, Xfinity Jupiter Ascending (2015, directed by Lana Wachowski and Lilly Wachowski)
In the 2010s, blockbuster studio filmmaking made a hard pivot to existing intellectual property for its biggest movies: Star Wars, comic books, anything audiences might have nostalgia for. The Wachowskis, as they often do, went their own route. After giving cinema one of its greatest franchises in 1999 with The Matrix, the duo took a different direction in 2015 with a loopily operatic sci-fi epic rooted in nothing but their own imaginations. They were pilloried by critics. Jupiter Ascending is a wonderfully absurd space fairy tale starring Channing Tatum as a dog-man, Eddie Redmayne as an immortal arch-capitalist villain, and Mila Kunis as a secret princess who unwittingly owns the property deeds to our solar system. If you can get on this movie’s wavelength, you’ll find much to enjoy in its many flights of fancy.
Watch it on: Netflix
Non-Stop (2014, directed by Jaume Collet-Serra)
Since the surprise success of Taken in 2008, Liam Neeson has played a broken-down man forced to take the law into his own hands in countless mid-budget action dramas: Unknown, Cold Pursuit, The Commuter, Run All Night, and many more. Non-Stop is easily the best of them, partly thanks to Jaume Collet-Serra, a Spanish director who is one of the finest purveyors of modern pulp cinema (along with many Neeson movies, his other credits include The Shallows and Orphan). Set entirely on an airplane flying from New York to London, Non-Stop follows an alcoholic air marshal who gets caught in a deadly battle when a terrorist starts texting him. Perfectly befitting its setting, this thriller has the plot of the best kind of airplane paperback, with just the right number of twists and turns.
Watch it on: Sling Ocean’s Twelve (2004, directed by Steven Soderbergh)
Despite coasting to box-office success, Ocean’s Twelve was disliked on release for swerving in the opposite direction from the über-cool Ocean’s Eleven. Critics dismissed it as overindulgent, pretentious, and ultimately pointless: The heist plot is nigh-impossible to understand, most of the crucial exposition is entirely absent, and there’s a subplot in which the character played by Julia Roberts pretends to be the real Julia Roberts. In hindsight, though, the film is a perfect deconstruction of sequel logic, showing the difficulty of finding new directions for a beloved cast of characters. Where Ocean’s Eleven was all smooth style, Ocean’s Twelve is a knowing subversion that lays bare the ridiculous fallacy of movie-star charm. It also happens to be very, very funny.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime Pain & Gain (2013, directed by Michael Bay)
Practically every Bay film has been dismissed by reviewers on release, and often for good reason. His high-octane storytelling style makes the simplest scenes of dialogue utterly hyperactive, and most of his recent efforts are about talking robot toys. But Pain & Gain was a sly departure for this director, a low-budget (by his standards) crime comedy that feels like a Coen Brothers movie on growth hormones. Based on a true story, Pain & Gain is about three bodybuilders (played by Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, and Anthony Mackie) who embark on a harebrained kidnapping scheme for easy money; naturally, things quickly go awry. Bay doesn’t abandon his trademark energy, but instead deploys it as satire—these characters might think they’re in a flashy action movie, but their circumstances are far more mundane and depressing.
Watch it on: Vudu, Prime
https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2020/04/30-underrated-films-watch-quarantine/609784/
submitted by finnagains to Moviereviewed [link] [comments]


2020.03.08 13:04 liferider09 A collection of free events - week of 3/8

I ignored many of the film events this week, and included some more volunteering (the free library films are usually around noon on weekdays). If you have more interest in the films during the day, let me know.
I also removed any emails that were in descriptions. You can still find them in the original posting.

Manhattan

Roger Morris Park - Garden Volunteer Day, 3/8

Whether you have a green thumb or just a curiosity for what makes the garden grow, all are welcome to volunteer in Roger Morris Park, the grounds of the Morris-Jumel Mansion, once a month under the supervision of NYC Parks. All tools and instructions are provided, just bring a willingness to get a little dirty as we beautify our special garden. Close-toed shoes are required. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by an adult. Please note: RSVP by emailing [email omitted, go to the website] and write \Volunteer\ in the subject line. Groups must RSVP by at least 14 days in advance.
NYC Parks
Morris-Jumel Mansion (In Roger Morris Park), Manhattan
10 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/08/roger-morris-park-garden-volunteer-day
website: https://www.jalopytheatre.org

Asssscat 3000, 3/8

Performers from The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre perform longform improv with frequent special guests from your favorite TV shows and movies. The 7:30pm shows cost $14 and tickets go on sale 2 weeks before the show date at 12pm. The 9:30pm show is FREE but you must make a reservation in advance. Reservations become available online at 12pm (noon) the day of the show. PLEASE NOTE: The listed cast lineup is subject to change. Our talented performers are very in-demand and although they would like to do so, other obligations prevent them from being able to do ASSSSCAT every week.
UCB Theatre Hells Kitchen
555 W 42nd Street, New York, NY
7:30 PM
https://hellskitchen.ucbtheatre.com
website: https://hellskitchen.ucbtheatre.com/performance/72897

Author Talk- Kathy Iandoli: God Save the Queens, 3/9

For far too long, women in hip-hop have been relegated to the shadows, viewed as the designated “First Lady” thrown a contract, a pawn in some beef, or even worse. But as Kathy Iandoli makes clear, the reality is very different. Today, hip-hop is dominated by successful women such as Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, yet there are scores of female artists whose influence continues to resonate.
God Save the Queens pays tribute to the women of hip-hop—from the early work of Roxanne Shante, to hitmakers…
Yorkville Library, Meeting Room
222 East 79th Street, New York, NY
5:30 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/09/author-talk-kathy-iandoli-god-save-queens

Cairo: City of 1000 Minarets, 3/9

Join Iman R. Abdulfattah, PhD Candidate in Islamic Art and Archaeology at Universität Bonn, for a visual journey into the riches of the art and architecture of this important metropolis. When the Fatimid dynasty conquered Egypt in 969 AD, they founded a fortified palatine city to serve as their new administrative center. This new city, named al-Qahira – meaning “The Victorious” – gave the present capital its name. Since the 10th century, Cairo has served as a major center of the Islamicate world and seat of several important dynasties, reaching its apogee under the Mamluks (1250-1516 AD), who gave it an architectural character that symbolized the image of the Islamic city for centuries. These empires also left behind a staggering number of impressive buildings meant to emphasize courtly patronage and dominate the panorama of the city, lending Cairo the nickname of the City of 1,000 Minarets. Today, more than 400 extant registered historic Islamic monuments survive tucked away amid the modern urban sprawl, many of which remain largely overshadowed by their more ancient counterparts.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
8 PM
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864838&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

The Improv Jam, 3/10

Just your classic Improv Jam! Everyone who attends this show will have a chance to perform improv on the UCBT Hell's Kitchen stage! Put your name in the Bucket of Truth, then jam with students, performers, and faculty. The show isn't over until everyone has had a chance to perform, all in a fun, supportive environment! All experience levels welcome!
UCB Theatre Hells Kitchen
555 W 42nd Street, New York, NY
6 PM
https://hellskitchen.ucbtheatre.com
website: https://hellskitchen.ucbtheatre.com/performance/72920

Why the Far Right Kills, 3/10

Why is this political faction, compared to others, so violent -- and what drives them to kill again and again? Researcher Chip Berlet, who has investigated the Far Right for forty years, will explain how the movement’s internal dynamic drives its participants into homicidal outbursts. Berlet will discuss the Far Right’s themes of demonization, scapegoating, conspiracism, and apocalypticism with journalist Talia Lavin, and they will offer their perspectives on how to deal with this toxic social current.
YIVO Institute for Jewish Research 15 West 16th Street, Manhattan 7p; $free yivo.org/Why-the-Far-Right-Kills
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/
website: https://www.yivo.org/Why-the-Far-Right-Kills

Please Remit My Qubits Chapbook Launch, 3/10

Please join us for the celebration of the launch of Marie Hinson’s first chapbook, Please Remit My Qubits: a trans hex on quantum supremacy (2020, Operating System: AlteAltar). Marie will be reading with Sherese Francis, Zefyr Lisowski, and Joey De Jesus.
Marie Hinson is an artist practicing in film, writing, performance, and cinematography. Originally from the mountains of rural Appalachia, she now works and lives in New York City. She is an alum of the Philadelphia based artist collective Vox Populi. Her work has shown in group exhibitions and experimental film festivals as well as at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, Anthology Film Archives, Scribe Video Center, Icebox Project Space, and Blackbox at Vox Populi. mariehinson.com Sherese Francis is a southeast Queens-based poet, text artist, workshop facilitator, and literary curator of the mobile library project, J. Expressions. She has published work in journals and anthologies including Cosmonauts Avenue, No Dear, Apex Magazine, La Pluma Y La Tinta’s New Voices Anthology, The Pierian Literary Review, Bone Bouquet, African Voices, Newtown Literary, Free Verse, and Near Kin: A Collection of Words and Arts Inspired by Octavia Butler. Additionally, she has published two chapbooks, Lucy’s Bone Scrolls and Variations on Sett/ling Seed/ling. Currently, she is a co-editor and board member of the small press, Harlequin Creature, and a core member of the Southeast Queens Artist Alliance. To find out more about her work, visit futuristicallyancient.com. Joey De Jesus is the author of HOAX (Operating System, 2020+), NOCT- The Threshold of Madness (The Atlas Review, 2019), and co-author, alongside Sade LaNay, of Writing Voice into the Archive vol. 1, organized and edited by Jennifer Tamayo with support from UC Berkeley’s Center for Race and Gender. Joey co-edits poetry at Apogee Journal, is an Advisory Board Member at No, Dear Magazine, and received the 2019-20 BRIC ArtFP Project Room Commission and 2017 NYFA/NYSCA Fellowship in Poetry. Poems have appeared in the Academy of American Poet’s Poem-A-Day, Bettering American Poetry, Barrow Street, BOAAT, The Brooklyn Rail, The Cortland Review, The Literary Review, Newtown Literary Alliance, Southern Humanities Review, and several other venues. Poems have been performed and/or installed in Artists Space, Basilica Soundscape, The New Museum, The Poetry Project and elsewhere. Zefyr Lisowski is a trans and queer writer, artist, and North Carolinian currently living in NYC. She’s a Poetry Co-editor for Apogee Journal and the author of Blood Box, winner of the Black River Editor’s Choice Award from Black Lawrence Press and forthcoming fall 2019; she’s also the author of the microchap Wolf Inventory (Ghost City Press, 2018) and is a 2019 Tin House Summer Workshop Fellow. Zefyr’s work has appeared or is forthcoming in Lit Hub, Nat. Brut., Muzzle Magazine, and DIAGRAM, among many other places; she’s also received support from Sundress Academy for the Arts, McGill University, the New York Live Ideas Fest, and the 2019 CUNY Graduate Center Adjunct Incubator Grant for the arts. A 2018 nominee for the Pushcart Prize, she also goes by Zef.
Bluestockings
172 Allen St, New York, NY
7 PM
bluestockings.com
website: https://bluestockings.com/event/please-remit-my-qubits-chapbook-launch/?instance_id=212037

A Virtuoso Evening With Prize-Winning Pianist Kate Liu, 3/10

She is the Bronze Medal Winner of the 2015 International Chopin Competition in Warsaw and First Prize Winner of the 2010 New York International Piano Competition. Ever since these major awards, Liu’s schedule has been filled with memorable performances in Europe, Asia, and the United States. In a glowing review of her recital, the Washington Post calls her a “grand talent.” This concert is presented under the auspices of the Stecher and Horowitz Foundation. Works by Schumann and Brahms will be featured. Don’t miss this opportunity to hear one of today’s leading young pianists!
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
8 PM
The National Arts Club
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864839&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Self-Care at Mulberry Street Library: March on Stress 3/11

We will make DIY stress balls. You can take them home and use them to help through difficult situations. We will end the program with a guided imagery story.
Mulberry Street Library
10 Jersey Street, New York, NY
1 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/15/self-care-mulberry-street-library-march-stress

The Rheda S. Brandt Memorial Lecture: Engaging With Local Communities and Climate Change, 3/11

Returning lecturer Dr. Evangelos Kyriakidis of Kent University and Director of The Heritage Management Organization discusses his engagement projects. This global network — encompassing over five hundred members in more than seventy nations — was established in November of 2008. Its goal of instructing local key heritage managers has significantly transformed diverse cultural assets from decaying objects of study into dynamic sources of learning, community identity, and economic development. This international collaboration between knowledgeable stakeholders and professional partners offering their unique expertise becomes particularly crucial when adapting to climate change and protecting rare sites.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
6:30 PM
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864840&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Young Poets Reading, 3/11

At this year's event we will introduce three up-and-coming young poets. Beth Bachmann’s most recent volume is CEASE (2018), preceded by Temper (2009) and Do Not Rise (2015). She has won, among other awards, the Alice di Castagnola Award from the Poetry Society of America. Adam Fitzgerald’s most recent volume is George Washington (2016). It was preceded by The Late Parade (2013). He teaches at Rutgers University. Shane McCrae’s most recent volume is The Gilded Auction Block (2019), preceded by five others, including Mule (2011), Blood (2013), and In the Language of My Captor (2017), the last a finalist for the National Book Award. He teaches at Columbia University.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
8 PM
The National Arts Club
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864841&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Movies @ Kips Bay Library Presents New Releases Movie Night: Judy, 3/12

Synopsis:
Set in late 1968 and early 1969, Judy portrays Judy Garland hustling in Swinging London after successfully securing an engagement in Talk of the Town. Behind the scenes, her tumultuous life continues on, battling with her manager and her ex-husband. Directors Rupert Goold
Production year 2019, Rating PG-13, Studio Lions Gate Films, Inc., Runtime 118 minutes.
Cast
Finn Wittrock, Renée Zellweger, Rufus Sewell.
Kips Bay Library
446 Third Avenue, New York, NY
3 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/12/movies-kips-bay-library-presents-new-releases-movie-night

Arsenal Gallery Exhibition Opening: Alice Momm: The Gleaner's Song, 3/12

Join NYC Parks for the opening reception for our new exhibition Alice Momm: The Gleaner's Song in the Arsenal Gallery. The Gleaner’s Song is a collection of mixed-media works, words, and photographs by artist Alice Momm, inspired by her daily, immersive walks in Central Park. The materials and impressions gathered on these rambles become the seeds of artworks that pay tribute to the ragged beauty of found objects in nature and honor the quiet dramas unfolding in unexpected places. While often humorous, the artworks reflect a deep concern for our environment and an appreciation of the interconnectedness of all living beings. This solo exhibition is Momm's love song to Central Park and an invitation to find wonder and joy in New York City’s parks. This event is FREE and open to the public. The exhibition is on display in the Arsenal Gallery on weekdays from March 13, 2020 through June 4, 2020. Please note that the Arsenal Gallery will be closed on Monday, May 25, 2020. Images: Alice Momm, Untitled from Gleaner's Song, 2017, bark, gouache, wire, paper; Central Park, Reaching Tree, 2019, digital photograph
NYC Parks
Arsenal (In Central Park), Manhattan
6 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/12/arsenal-gallery-exhibition-opening-alice-momm-the-gleaners-song

YOU MUST BELIEVE IN SPRING: Melissa Errico Presents Michel Legrand, 3/12

Tony-nominated actress and New York Times columnist Melissa Errico brings to Lincoln Center a special concert and panel discussion, lit by her unique gift for both singing songs and speaking sense, devoted to one of her mentors, the late, great French composer Michel Legrand. Since originating the lead in his sole Broadway musical, “Amour”, Errico has had a special affinity and understanding for his music and its meanings. On this evening, she’ll sing a few Legrand classics, among them “The Summ…
New York Public Library for the Performing Arts, Dorothy and Lewis B. Cullman Center, Bruno Walter Auditorium
40 Lincoln Center Plaza (65th St and Columbus Ave), New York, NY
6 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/12/you-must-believe-spring-melissa-errico-presents-michel-legrand

Places That Unite: Creative Tools for Telling a Fuller Story, 3/12

Join the Historic House Trust and the Black Gotham Experience for a conversation on how to tell more inclusive narratives at historic sites. Through discussion and demonstration, panelists will share how long-silenced stories are now being told in meaningful ways. From live performance and culinary experiences to physically inhabiting spaces of trauma, find inspiration in those using interpretation, dialogue, and engagement to create more honest and inclusive historical narratives.
Panelists will include Food Studies PhD Scott Barton, Founder of the Slave Dwelling Project Joe McGill, Senior Director at the International Coalition of Sites of Conscience Sarah Pharaon, Historic Preservation Program Analyst with NYS Parks Cordell Reaves, and artist and singer Kimberly Wilson.
Black Gotham Experience 192 Front Street, Manhattan 6-8p; $free historichousetrust.org
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/
website: https://www.historichousetrust.org

Two Elizas in Old New York (1875): Eliza Greatorex Picturing Eliza Jumel’s Mansion With Professor Katherine Manthorne, 3/12

Join as Professor Katherine Manthorne explores the interconnected lives of two influential women from 19th Century New York, Eliza Jumel and Eliza Pratt Greatorex. Eliza Jumel, a self-made woman who used her intellect to become one of the richest women in New York, was Morris-Jumel Mansion’s longest living resident. Four years after Jumel’s death, Eliza Pratt Greatorex was one of America’s most famous women artists and only female member of the National Academy of Design. Professor Manthorne’s illustrated presentation focuses on Pratt Greatorex’s folio volume Old New York: From the Battery to Bloomingdale (1875) in which the artist depicted the city’s threatened architectural landmarks during the post-Civil War building boom, including Morris-Jumel Mansion and its grounds. Enjoy this special preview of Manthorne’s forthcoming book, Restless Enterprise: The Art and Life of Eliza Pratt Greatorex, which will be published in January 2021. Katherine Manthorne is a Professor of Art History at the Graduate Center, City University of New York, and a specialist in American art and culture with attention to the contribution of women. Soon to be published by the University of California Press in Jan. 2021, her book, Restless Enterprise: The Art and Life of Eliza Pratt Greatorex, brings back to life this feisty, remarkable figure and her extensive network of art women to shed light on the still-misunderstood visual culture of the post-Civil War years. Purchase tickets online.
NYC Parks
Morris-Jumel Mansion (In Roger Morris Park), Manhattan
7 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/12/two-elizas-in-old-new-york-1875-eliza-greatorex-picturing-eliza-jumels-mansion-with-professor-katherine-manthorne

Art and Energy, 3/12

Art and science achieve the seemingly impossible, picturing the energy of the universe by making the invisible visible. Join Dr. Charles A. Riley Ph.D., director of the Nassau Museum of Art, and visual artist Scott McIntire, for a dialogue revealing the ways art permits us to understand the beauty of energy in ways that are beyond our ordinary perception. The star of a recent exhibition curated by Dr. Riley, McIntire manages to weave, subtly, issues of sustainability with a powerful aesthetic message in his highly original “Energy Field” series of paintings.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
7:30 PM
The National Arts Club
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864842&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Contemporary Art in Academic Environments, 3/13

Join us for a panel discussion and visual presentation focusing on the strategies and problems of the education process in the field of digital art, effective instruments of practical and theoretical learning, and multidisciplinary project-based approach. This program is organized in conjunction with the ID. ART:TECH EXHIBITION on display in the Gregg and Marquis Galleries which explores ID as a phenomenon with a wide range of meanings – from the term in psychoanalysis (id) to the document that certifies one’s identity (ID) - from the forms of sociopolitical function of portraits to the images of mass culture and social networks.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
7 PM
The National Arts Club
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864844&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Lower East Side Street Tree Care, 3/14

Come work with NYC Parks Stewardship to care for local street trees! Volunteers will learn how to aerate, cultivate, mulch, and identify street trees. They will also learn about the important roles street trees play in New York City. Volunteers should dress in clothes that can get dirty and closed-toed shoes. They are also encouraged to bring their own water bottles. Please note: Space is limited and registration is required. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by a chaperone.
NYC Parks
Henry M. Jackson Playground, Manhattan
9 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/lower-east-side-street-tree-care

Everyday Ecologies, 3/14

Everyday Ecologies is a full-day conference held on Saturday, March 14 at the Bernard and Anne Spitzer School of Architecture. Experts across the fields of design, urban ecology, and social science will be speaking to how we support and exist within ecosystems, and how we can investigate new approaches in the world of urban ecological systems. To instigate new approaches, we have invited designers, planners, historians, and social scientists to talk about everyday ecosystems: the boundless communities we are part of—a cocktail of cultures crossing economic and class strata with overlapping gender, racial, and spiritual identities—that complement but also compete with each other and conflict internally for rights and means to perpetuate their cultural identities, social relations, and environmental resource needs and desires. Speakers will present the idea or theory that one of their projects is contested through design, planning, or projective research and analysis. Together, we aim to develop principles that will establish a foothold from which to launch new approaches and ideas for changing the complex world future generations will inherit. Featuring: Thaisa Way, Tim Maly, Kate Orff, Heather McMillen, Elizabeth Hénaff, Lindsay Campbell, Kristina Hill, Justin Garrett Moore, Andrew Bauer, Liz Barry, Andrea Parker, Sean Weiss, Julia Czerniak, Maria Villalobos, Sierra Bainbridge, Joy Bailey Bryant, Erika Svendsen, Denise Hoffman Brandt FREE with RSVP.
NYC Parks
Bernard and Anne Spitzer School of Architecture, Manhattan
9:30 AM - 5 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/everyday-ecologies

Dances of the World Day, 3/14

Join us for a culturally explorative day full of various dances from around the world including Latin American, African, Caribbean, and Harlem’s very own hip hop. Wear comfortable clothes and bring a friend for twice the fun! For accessibility information, contact LaSharn Cooper at [email omitted, go to the website to find it] or call (212) 860-1373. RSVP on Eventbrite.
NYC Parks
Pelham Fritz Recreation Center (In Marcus Garvey Park), Manhattan
10 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/dances-of-the-world-day

Book Swap! 3/14

By popular demand, Ottendorfer now hosts a Book Swap every Saturday! Please bring your books, DVDs, CDs and miscellaneous trinkets to trade with others.
Ottendorfer Library
135 Second Avenue, New York, NY
10 AM onward
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/07/book-swap

Wrong Story Mistold: Artist Reception for Barbara Jaye Wilson, 3/14

Please join us for the reception for the current exhibition at Ottendorfer, Wrong Story Mistold: Paintings by Barbara Jaye Wilson. Meet the artist and enjoy the exhibit.
Ottendorfer Library
135 Second Avenue, New York, NY
2 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/14/wrong-story-mistold-artist-reception-barbara-jaye-wilson

Queens

Zinemaking Workshop, 3/12

If you’re short on resources but long on ideas, zines are magic little books that let you publish what you care about and connect with others who care, too. They can be about anything and no two are quite the same.
With help from Aurora Diaz of art collective The Bettyz, we’ll learn how to establish and run a zine project, then collaborate on a one-off zine. Don’t worry — we’ll bring the paper, scissors and Polaroid. Happy hour is from 5-8p.
Nowadays 56-06 Cooper Avenue, Ridgewood 8p; $free nowadays.nyc/2020/03/12/zinemaking-workshop/
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/

Highland Park Forest Restoration, 3/13

Volunteers will learn how to identify and safely remove invasive plants in order to help create a healthier ecosystem. Come dressed in sturdy boots or shoes, long pants, and clothing that can get dirty. Volunteers are also encouraged to bring their own water bottles. Please note: Space is limited and registration is required. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by a chaperone.
NYC Parks
Lower Highland Playground (In Highland Park), Queens
9 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/13/highland-park-forest-restoration

Compost Giveback, 3/14

The NYC Compost Project Hosted by Queens Botanical Garden is giving away FREE compost! Although staff will be present to assist, please come prepared to fill and carry out your own bags. We will provide shovels and empty 7.5 gallon sandbags. The compost is made from residential food scraps collected locally and processed at QBG. Limit of 5 bags per registrant. This event takes place in QBG’s Parking Garden at 42-80 Crommelin Street, Flushing, NY. If you are interested in larger volumes of compost, please contact us at [email omitted, go to the website to find it] or (718) 539-5296. Please note: Registration required. Please note you will not be given compost if you have not registered for this event. There are two sessions that you can register for: 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 to 3:30 p.m. Only one session registration is allowed per household; multiple-session registration will result in cancellation of one session.
NYC Parks
Queens Botanical Garden Parking Garden, Queens
7:30 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/compost-giveback

Rockaway Beach Cleanup, 3/14

Volunteer with the Stewardship Team at Rockaway Beach! Volunteers will be removing debris from the Rockaway Beach. Volunteers should dress in clothes that can get dirty, close-toed shoes, and warm layers. They are also encouraged to bring their own water bottles. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by a chaperone. Please note: Space is limited and registration is required.
NYC Parks
Dead End of Beach 56th Place (In Rockaway Beach), Queens
9:30 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/rockaway-beach-cleanup

Staten Island

Living With Deer, 3/8

Join the Urban Park Rangers to learn about deer. We will find signs of deer in the park (buck rubs, deer scat, deer prints, chewed twigs) on a hike outdoors, and share five tips to follow to promote a healthy coexistence with these animals.
NYC Parks
Greenbelt Nature Center (In Blood Root Valley), Staten Island
1 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/08/living-with-deer

Adult Canvas Painting, 3/9

Indulge in the art of painting with our popular canvas painting program that has everything but the wine! The projects created during this program will be guided, allowing participants of all skill levels to learn new techniques. Everyone paints the same design, but no artistry is alike!
South Beach Library
21-25 Robin Road, Staten Island, NY
4:30 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/09/adult-canvas-painting

Choose the Right Bin for You Workshop (NYC Compost Project), 3/14

There are many ways to compost, and many types of compost bins: big bins, small bins, short bins, tall bins! Does it need to have a lid? Can I keep it by my house? Can I make my own? You have questions. We have answers. This event is rain or shine. Free admission Registration requested here The NYC Compost Project, created by the NYC Department of Sanitation (DSNY) in 1993, works to rebuild NYC’s soils by providing New Yorkers with the knowledge, skills, and opportunities they need to make and use compost locally. Learn more: www.nyc.gov/compostproject
NYC Parks
Compost Demonstration Site (In Snug Harbor Cultural Center), Staten Island
11 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/choose-the-right-bin-for-you-workshop-nyc-compost-project

Winter Book Discussions @ Everything Goes Cafe: Do No Harm: Stories of Life, Death, and Brain Surgery by Henry Marsh, 3/14

What is it like to be a brain surgeon? How does it feel to hold someone’s life in your hands, to cut into the stuff that creates thought, feeling and reason? How do you live with the consequences of performing a potentially lifesaving operation when it all goes wrong?
With astonishing compassion and candor, leading neurosurgeon Henry Marsh reveals the fierce joy of operating, the profoundly moving triumphs, the harrowing disasters, the haunting regrets and the moments of black humor that charac…
St. George Library Center
5 Central Avenue, Staten Island, NY
2 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/14/winter-book-discussions-everything-goes-cafe-do-no-harm-stories-life

Brooklyn

Exceedingly Good Song Night, 3/8

New York City's premier traditional/folk/roots singing session. Hosted by Ken Schatz. Sing and hear folk songs, blues, gospel, old-time, Appalachian, sea songs and chanteys, worksongs, ballads, railroad songs, prison songs, lullabies, forebitters, broadsides, hymns, vaudeville, camp songs, farming, mining and factory songs, country, bluegrass, spirituals, cowboy songs, English, Irish and Scottish Songs, labor and union songs, drinking songs, children’s songs, field hollers, music hall, love songs, and parodies.
Singers and listeners are welcome. Each Song Night, we have a loose theme to encourage people to learn new songs and remember ones they haven't sung in a while. If you'd like to lead a song, look for a traditional song or two that somehow fits our theme: Back and Forth.
315 Columbia Street, between Hamilton and Woodhull, Brooklyn 6-11p; $free jalopytheatre.org
Jalopy Theatre
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/

Big Irvs, 3/8

Big Irv's is back in action with a whole new showcase of the best storytelling this side of the river. Big talent in a tiny bodega. Can't miss.
Featuring Sam Dingman, Harmon Leon, Tracy Rowland, Jamie Beth Cohen, Edith Gonzales, and Calvin Cato. Plus two extra saucy open mic slots. With host Adam Selbst. This show is fun, free and BYOB so come on down.
Big Irvs 381 Hooper street, Brooklyn 7p doors, 7:30p show; $free
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/

The Science of Vaccines, 3/11

In the last 70 years or so, vaccines have saved millions of lives. They are among the most effective, safest, and cheap medicines ever discovered by humankind. Still, questions about vaccines resonate across our communities and in the media. Do vaccines cause autism? Are they harmful? What about their ingredients? Is vaccination a personal choice? In this talk, Francesco presents the basic facts about vaccines, and he will discuss these and many other questions. Communities need vaccines, and vaccines need communities. Come for a talk and stay for discussion with other curious visitors.
Biotech Without Borders 33 Flatbush Avenue, fourth floor, Brooklyn 7-9p; $free eventbrite.com/e/the-science-of-vaccines-tickets-95310017829
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/
website: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-science-of-vaccines-tickets-95310017829

Coney Island Beach Grass Planting, 3/14

Join NYC Parks Stewardship as we plant beach grass in Coney Island! Learn about the importance of this coastal area and what you can do to help. Volunteers should dress in clothes that can get dirty, close-toed shoes, and warm layers. They are also encouraged to bring their own water bottles. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by a chaperone. Please note: Space is limited and online registration is required.
NYC Parks
Riegelmann Boardwalk and 37th Street (In Coney Island Beach & Boardwalk), Brooklyn
10 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/coney-island-beach-grass-planting

Climate Change: Adapting in New York City, 3/14

Over the years, animals and plants have adapted to live in a city that's constantly changing. Join the Rangers for a hike through Prospect Park as we explore and learn more about its inhabitants.
NYC Parks
Prospect Park Picnic House (In Prospect Park), Brooklyn
1 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/climate-change-adapting-in-new-york-city
Not gonna shill my webapp this week, cuz it currently isn't working.
As always, feel free to let me know if there are other hosts/sources I should look at.
submitted by liferider09 to newyorkcity [link] [comments]


2020.03.08 13:04 liferider09 A collection of free events - week of 3/8

I ignored many of the film events this week, and included some more volunteering (the free library films are usually around noon on weekdays). If you have more interest in the films during the day, let me know.
I also removed any emails that were in descriptions. You can still find them in the original posting.

Manhattan

Roger Morris Park - Garden Volunteer Day, 3/8

Whether you have a green thumb or just a curiosity for what makes the garden grow, all are welcome to volunteer in Roger Morris Park, the grounds of the Morris-Jumel Mansion, once a month under the supervision of NYC Parks. All tools and instructions are provided, just bring a willingness to get a little dirty as we beautify our special garden. Close-toed shoes are required. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by an adult. Please note: RSVP by emailing [email omitted, go to the website] and write \Volunteer\ in the subject line. Groups must RSVP by at least 14 days in advance.
NYC Parks
Morris-Jumel Mansion (In Roger Morris Park), Manhattan
10 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/08/roger-morris-park-garden-volunteer-day
website: https://www.jalopytheatre.org

Asssscat 3000, 3/8

Performers from The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre perform longform improv with frequent special guests from your favorite TV shows and movies. The 7:30pm shows cost $14 and tickets go on sale 2 weeks before the show date at 12pm. The 9:30pm show is FREE but you must make a reservation in advance. Reservations become available online at 12pm (noon) the day of the show. PLEASE NOTE: The listed cast lineup is subject to change. Our talented performers are very in-demand and although they would like to do so, other obligations prevent them from being able to do ASSSSCAT every week.
UCB Theatre Hells Kitchen
555 W 42nd Street, New York, NY
7:30 PM
https://hellskitchen.ucbtheatre.com
website: https://hellskitchen.ucbtheatre.com/performance/72897

Author Talk- Kathy Iandoli: God Save the Queens, 3/9

For far too long, women in hip-hop have been relegated to the shadows, viewed as the designated “First Lady” thrown a contract, a pawn in some beef, or even worse. But as Kathy Iandoli makes clear, the reality is very different. Today, hip-hop is dominated by successful women such as Cardi B and Nicki Minaj, yet there are scores of female artists whose influence continues to resonate.
God Save the Queens pays tribute to the women of hip-hop—from the early work of Roxanne Shante, to hitmakers…
Yorkville Library, Meeting Room
222 East 79th Street, New York, NY
5:30 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/09/author-talk-kathy-iandoli-god-save-queens

Cairo: City of 1000 Minarets, 3/9

Join Iman R. Abdulfattah, PhD Candidate in Islamic Art and Archaeology at Universität Bonn, for a visual journey into the riches of the art and architecture of this important metropolis. When the Fatimid dynasty conquered Egypt in 969 AD, they founded a fortified palatine city to serve as their new administrative center. This new city, named al-Qahira – meaning “The Victorious” – gave the present capital its name. Since the 10th century, Cairo has served as a major center of the Islamicate world and seat of several important dynasties, reaching its apogee under the Mamluks (1250-1516 AD), who gave it an architectural character that symbolized the image of the Islamic city for centuries. These empires also left behind a staggering number of impressive buildings meant to emphasize courtly patronage and dominate the panorama of the city, lending Cairo the nickname of the City of 1,000 Minarets. Today, more than 400 extant registered historic Islamic monuments survive tucked away amid the modern urban sprawl, many of which remain largely overshadowed by their more ancient counterparts.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
8 PM
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864838&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

The Improv Jam, 3/10

Just your classic Improv Jam! Everyone who attends this show will have a chance to perform improv on the UCBT Hell's Kitchen stage! Put your name in the Bucket of Truth, then jam with students, performers, and faculty. The show isn't over until everyone has had a chance to perform, all in a fun, supportive environment! All experience levels welcome!
UCB Theatre Hells Kitchen
555 W 42nd Street, New York, NY
6 PM
https://hellskitchen.ucbtheatre.com
website: https://hellskitchen.ucbtheatre.com/performance/72920

Why the Far Right Kills, 3/10

Why is this political faction, compared to others, so violent -- and what drives them to kill again and again? Researcher Chip Berlet, who has investigated the Far Right for forty years, will explain how the movement’s internal dynamic drives its participants into homicidal outbursts. Berlet will discuss the Far Right’s themes of demonization, scapegoating, conspiracism, and apocalypticism with journalist Talia Lavin, and they will offer their perspectives on how to deal with this toxic social current.
YIVO Institute for Jewish Research 15 West 16th Street, Manhattan 7p; $free yivo.org/Why-the-Far-Right-Kills
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/
website: https://www.yivo.org/Why-the-Far-Right-Kills

Please Remit My Qubits Chapbook Launch, 3/10

Please join us for the celebration of the launch of Marie Hinson’s first chapbook, Please Remit My Qubits: a trans hex on quantum supremacy (2020, Operating System: AlteAltar). Marie will be reading with Sherese Francis, Zefyr Lisowski, and Joey De Jesus.
Marie Hinson is an artist practicing in film, writing, performance, and cinematography. Originally from the mountains of rural Appalachia, she now works and lives in New York City. She is an alum of the Philadelphia based artist collective Vox Populi. Her work has shown in group exhibitions and experimental film festivals as well as at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, Anthology Film Archives, Scribe Video Center, Icebox Project Space, and Blackbox at Vox Populi. mariehinson.com Sherese Francis is a southeast Queens-based poet, text artist, workshop facilitator, and literary curator of the mobile library project, J. Expressions. She has published work in journals and anthologies including Cosmonauts Avenue, No Dear, Apex Magazine, La Pluma Y La Tinta’s New Voices Anthology, The Pierian Literary Review, Bone Bouquet, African Voices, Newtown Literary, Free Verse, and Near Kin: A Collection of Words and Arts Inspired by Octavia Butler. Additionally, she has published two chapbooks, Lucy’s Bone Scrolls and Variations on Sett/ling Seed/ling. Currently, she is a co-editor and board member of the small press, Harlequin Creature, and a core member of the Southeast Queens Artist Alliance. To find out more about her work, visit futuristicallyancient.com. Joey De Jesus is the author of HOAX (Operating System, 2020+), NOCT- The Threshold of Madness (The Atlas Review, 2019), and co-author, alongside Sade LaNay, of Writing Voice into the Archive vol. 1, organized and edited by Jennifer Tamayo with support from UC Berkeley’s Center for Race and Gender. Joey co-edits poetry at Apogee Journal, is an Advisory Board Member at No, Dear Magazine, and received the 2019-20 BRIC ArtFP Project Room Commission and 2017 NYFA/NYSCA Fellowship in Poetry. Poems have appeared in the Academy of American Poet’s Poem-A-Day, Bettering American Poetry, Barrow Street, BOAAT, The Brooklyn Rail, The Cortland Review, The Literary Review, Newtown Literary Alliance, Southern Humanities Review, and several other venues. Poems have been performed and/or installed in Artists Space, Basilica Soundscape, The New Museum, The Poetry Project and elsewhere. Zefyr Lisowski is a trans and queer writer, artist, and North Carolinian currently living in NYC. She’s a Poetry Co-editor for Apogee Journal and the author of Blood Box, winner of the Black River Editor’s Choice Award from Black Lawrence Press and forthcoming fall 2019; she’s also the author of the microchap Wolf Inventory (Ghost City Press, 2018) and is a 2019 Tin House Summer Workshop Fellow. Zefyr’s work has appeared or is forthcoming in Lit Hub, Nat. Brut., Muzzle Magazine, and DIAGRAM, among many other places; she’s also received support from Sundress Academy for the Arts, McGill University, the New York Live Ideas Fest, and the 2019 CUNY Graduate Center Adjunct Incubator Grant for the arts. A 2018 nominee for the Pushcart Prize, she also goes by Zef.
Bluestockings
172 Allen St, New York, NY
7 PM
bluestockings.com
website: https://bluestockings.com/event/please-remit-my-qubits-chapbook-launch/?instance_id=212037

A Virtuoso Evening With Prize-Winning Pianist Kate Liu, 3/10

She is the Bronze Medal Winner of the 2015 International Chopin Competition in Warsaw and First Prize Winner of the 2010 New York International Piano Competition. Ever since these major awards, Liu’s schedule has been filled with memorable performances in Europe, Asia, and the United States. In a glowing review of her recital, the Washington Post calls her a “grand talent.” This concert is presented under the auspices of the Stecher and Horowitz Foundation. Works by Schumann and Brahms will be featured. Don’t miss this opportunity to hear one of today’s leading young pianists!
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
8 PM
The National Arts Club
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864839&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Self-Care at Mulberry Street Library: March on Stress 3/11

We will make DIY stress balls. You can take them home and use them to help through difficult situations. We will end the program with a guided imagery story.
Mulberry Street Library
10 Jersey Street, New York, NY
1 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/15/self-care-mulberry-street-library-march-stress

The Rheda S. Brandt Memorial Lecture: Engaging With Local Communities and Climate Change, 3/11

Returning lecturer Dr. Evangelos Kyriakidis of Kent University and Director of The Heritage Management Organization discusses his engagement projects. This global network — encompassing over five hundred members in more than seventy nations — was established in November of 2008. Its goal of instructing local key heritage managers has significantly transformed diverse cultural assets from decaying objects of study into dynamic sources of learning, community identity, and economic development. This international collaboration between knowledgeable stakeholders and professional partners offering their unique expertise becomes particularly crucial when adapting to climate change and protecting rare sites.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
6:30 PM
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864840&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Young Poets Reading, 3/11

At this year's event we will introduce three up-and-coming young poets. Beth Bachmann’s most recent volume is CEASE (2018), preceded by Temper (2009) and Do Not Rise (2015). She has won, among other awards, the Alice di Castagnola Award from the Poetry Society of America. Adam Fitzgerald’s most recent volume is George Washington (2016). It was preceded by The Late Parade (2013). He teaches at Rutgers University. Shane McCrae’s most recent volume is The Gilded Auction Block (2019), preceded by five others, including Mule (2011), Blood (2013), and In the Language of My Captor (2017), the last a finalist for the National Book Award. He teaches at Columbia University.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
8 PM
The National Arts Club
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864841&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Movies @ Kips Bay Library Presents New Releases Movie Night: Judy, 3/12

Synopsis:
Set in late 1968 and early 1969, Judy portrays Judy Garland hustling in Swinging London after successfully securing an engagement in Talk of the Town. Behind the scenes, her tumultuous life continues on, battling with her manager and her ex-husband. Directors Rupert Goold
Production year 2019, Rating PG-13, Studio Lions Gate Films, Inc., Runtime 118 minutes.
Cast
Finn Wittrock, Renée Zellweger, Rufus Sewell.
Kips Bay Library
446 Third Avenue, New York, NY
3 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/12/movies-kips-bay-library-presents-new-releases-movie-night

Arsenal Gallery Exhibition Opening: Alice Momm: The Gleaner's Song, 3/12

Join NYC Parks for the opening reception for our new exhibition Alice Momm: The Gleaner's Song in the Arsenal Gallery. The Gleaner’s Song is a collection of mixed-media works, words, and photographs by artist Alice Momm, inspired by her daily, immersive walks in Central Park. The materials and impressions gathered on these rambles become the seeds of artworks that pay tribute to the ragged beauty of found objects in nature and honor the quiet dramas unfolding in unexpected places. While often humorous, the artworks reflect a deep concern for our environment and an appreciation of the interconnectedness of all living beings. This solo exhibition is Momm's love song to Central Park and an invitation to find wonder and joy in New York City’s parks. This event is FREE and open to the public. The exhibition is on display in the Arsenal Gallery on weekdays from March 13, 2020 through June 4, 2020. Please note that the Arsenal Gallery will be closed on Monday, May 25, 2020. Images: Alice Momm, Untitled from Gleaner's Song, 2017, bark, gouache, wire, paper; Central Park, Reaching Tree, 2019, digital photograph
NYC Parks
Arsenal (In Central Park), Manhattan
6 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/12/arsenal-gallery-exhibition-opening-alice-momm-the-gleaners-song

YOU MUST BELIEVE IN SPRING: Melissa Errico Presents Michel Legrand, 3/12

Tony-nominated actress and New York Times columnist Melissa Errico brings to Lincoln Center a special concert and panel discussion, lit by her unique gift for both singing songs and speaking sense, devoted to one of her mentors, the late, great French composer Michel Legrand. Since originating the lead in his sole Broadway musical, “Amour”, Errico has had a special affinity and understanding for his music and its meanings. On this evening, she’ll sing a few Legrand classics, among them “The Summ…
New York Public Library for the Performing Arts, Dorothy and Lewis B. Cullman Center, Bruno Walter Auditorium
40 Lincoln Center Plaza (65th St and Columbus Ave), New York, NY
6 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/12/you-must-believe-spring-melissa-errico-presents-michel-legrand

Places That Unite: Creative Tools for Telling a Fuller Story, 3/12

Join the Historic House Trust and the Black Gotham Experience for a conversation on how to tell more inclusive narratives at historic sites. Through discussion and demonstration, panelists will share how long-silenced stories are now being told in meaningful ways. From live performance and culinary experiences to physically inhabiting spaces of trauma, find inspiration in those using interpretation, dialogue, and engagement to create more honest and inclusive historical narratives.
Panelists will include Food Studies PhD Scott Barton, Founder of the Slave Dwelling Project Joe McGill, Senior Director at the International Coalition of Sites of Conscience Sarah Pharaon, Historic Preservation Program Analyst with NYS Parks Cordell Reaves, and artist and singer Kimberly Wilson.
Black Gotham Experience 192 Front Street, Manhattan 6-8p; $free historichousetrust.org
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/
website: https://www.historichousetrust.org

Two Elizas in Old New York (1875): Eliza Greatorex Picturing Eliza Jumel’s Mansion With Professor Katherine Manthorne, 3/12

Join as Professor Katherine Manthorne explores the interconnected lives of two influential women from 19th Century New York, Eliza Jumel and Eliza Pratt Greatorex. Eliza Jumel, a self-made woman who used her intellect to become one of the richest women in New York, was Morris-Jumel Mansion’s longest living resident. Four years after Jumel’s death, Eliza Pratt Greatorex was one of America’s most famous women artists and only female member of the National Academy of Design. Professor Manthorne’s illustrated presentation focuses on Pratt Greatorex’s folio volume Old New York: From the Battery to Bloomingdale (1875) in which the artist depicted the city’s threatened architectural landmarks during the post-Civil War building boom, including Morris-Jumel Mansion and its grounds. Enjoy this special preview of Manthorne’s forthcoming book, Restless Enterprise: The Art and Life of Eliza Pratt Greatorex, which will be published in January 2021. Katherine Manthorne is a Professor of Art History at the Graduate Center, City University of New York, and a specialist in American art and culture with attention to the contribution of women. Soon to be published by the University of California Press in Jan. 2021, her book, Restless Enterprise: The Art and Life of Eliza Pratt Greatorex, brings back to life this feisty, remarkable figure and her extensive network of art women to shed light on the still-misunderstood visual culture of the post-Civil War years. Purchase tickets online.
NYC Parks
Morris-Jumel Mansion (In Roger Morris Park), Manhattan
7 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/12/two-elizas-in-old-new-york-1875-eliza-greatorex-picturing-eliza-jumels-mansion-with-professor-katherine-manthorne

Art and Energy, 3/12

Art and science achieve the seemingly impossible, picturing the energy of the universe by making the invisible visible. Join Dr. Charles A. Riley Ph.D., director of the Nassau Museum of Art, and visual artist Scott McIntire, for a dialogue revealing the ways art permits us to understand the beauty of energy in ways that are beyond our ordinary perception. The star of a recent exhibition curated by Dr. Riley, McIntire manages to weave, subtly, issues of sustainability with a powerful aesthetic message in his highly original “Energy Field” series of paintings.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
7:30 PM
The National Arts Club
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864842&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Contemporary Art in Academic Environments, 3/13

Join us for a panel discussion and visual presentation focusing on the strategies and problems of the education process in the field of digital art, effective instruments of practical and theoretical learning, and multidisciplinary project-based approach. This program is organized in conjunction with the ID. ART:TECH EXHIBITION on display in the Gregg and Marquis Galleries which explores ID as a phenomenon with a wide range of meanings – from the term in psychoanalysis (id) to the document that certifies one’s identity (ID) - from the forms of sociopolitical function of portraits to the images of mass culture and social networks.
The National Arts Club
15 Gramercy Park S, New York, NY
7 PM
The National Arts Club
website: https://www.nationalartsclub.org/default.aspx?p=.NETEventView&ID=3864844&qfilter=&type=0&ssid=0&chgs=

Lower East Side Street Tree Care, 3/14

Come work with NYC Parks Stewardship to care for local street trees! Volunteers will learn how to aerate, cultivate, mulch, and identify street trees. They will also learn about the important roles street trees play in New York City. Volunteers should dress in clothes that can get dirty and closed-toed shoes. They are also encouraged to bring their own water bottles. Please note: Space is limited and registration is required. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by a chaperone.
NYC Parks
Henry M. Jackson Playground, Manhattan
9 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/lower-east-side-street-tree-care

Everyday Ecologies, 3/14

Everyday Ecologies is a full-day conference held on Saturday, March 14 at the Bernard and Anne Spitzer School of Architecture. Experts across the fields of design, urban ecology, and social science will be speaking to how we support and exist within ecosystems, and how we can investigate new approaches in the world of urban ecological systems. To instigate new approaches, we have invited designers, planners, historians, and social scientists to talk about everyday ecosystems: the boundless communities we are part of—a cocktail of cultures crossing economic and class strata with overlapping gender, racial, and spiritual identities—that complement but also compete with each other and conflict internally for rights and means to perpetuate their cultural identities, social relations, and environmental resource needs and desires. Speakers will present the idea or theory that one of their projects is contested through design, planning, or projective research and analysis. Together, we aim to develop principles that will establish a foothold from which to launch new approaches and ideas for changing the complex world future generations will inherit. Featuring: Thaisa Way, Tim Maly, Kate Orff, Heather McMillen, Elizabeth Hénaff, Lindsay Campbell, Kristina Hill, Justin Garrett Moore, Andrew Bauer, Liz Barry, Andrea Parker, Sean Weiss, Julia Czerniak, Maria Villalobos, Sierra Bainbridge, Joy Bailey Bryant, Erika Svendsen, Denise Hoffman Brandt FREE with RSVP.
NYC Parks
Bernard and Anne Spitzer School of Architecture, Manhattan
9:30 AM - 5 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/everyday-ecologies

Dances of the World Day, 3/14

Join us for a culturally explorative day full of various dances from around the world including Latin American, African, Caribbean, and Harlem’s very own hip hop. Wear comfortable clothes and bring a friend for twice the fun! For accessibility information, contact LaSharn Cooper at [email omitted, go to the website to find it] or call (212) 860-1373. RSVP on Eventbrite.
NYC Parks
Pelham Fritz Recreation Center (In Marcus Garvey Park), Manhattan
10 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/dances-of-the-world-day

Book Swap! 3/14

By popular demand, Ottendorfer now hosts a Book Swap every Saturday! Please bring your books, DVDs, CDs and miscellaneous trinkets to trade with others.
Ottendorfer Library
135 Second Avenue, New York, NY
10 AM onward
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/07/book-swap

Wrong Story Mistold: Artist Reception for Barbara Jaye Wilson, 3/14

Please join us for the reception for the current exhibition at Ottendorfer, Wrong Story Mistold: Paintings by Barbara Jaye Wilson. Meet the artist and enjoy the exhibit.
Ottendorfer Library
135 Second Avenue, New York, NY
2 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/14/wrong-story-mistold-artist-reception-barbara-jaye-wilson

Queens

Zinemaking Workshop, 3/12

If you’re short on resources but long on ideas, zines are magic little books that let you publish what you care about and connect with others who care, too. They can be about anything and no two are quite the same.
With help from Aurora Diaz of art collective The Bettyz, we’ll learn how to establish and run a zine project, then collaborate on a one-off zine. Don’t worry — we’ll bring the paper, scissors and Polaroid. Happy hour is from 5-8p.
Nowadays 56-06 Cooper Avenue, Ridgewood 8p; $free nowadays.nyc/2020/03/12/zinemaking-workshop/
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/

Highland Park Forest Restoration, 3/13

Volunteers will learn how to identify and safely remove invasive plants in order to help create a healthier ecosystem. Come dressed in sturdy boots or shoes, long pants, and clothing that can get dirty. Volunteers are also encouraged to bring their own water bottles. Please note: Space is limited and registration is required. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by a chaperone.
NYC Parks
Lower Highland Playground (In Highland Park), Queens
9 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/13/highland-park-forest-restoration

Compost Giveback, 3/14

The NYC Compost Project Hosted by Queens Botanical Garden is giving away FREE compost! Although staff will be present to assist, please come prepared to fill and carry out your own bags. We will provide shovels and empty 7.5 gallon sandbags. The compost is made from residential food scraps collected locally and processed at QBG. Limit of 5 bags per registrant. This event takes place in QBG’s Parking Garden at 42-80 Crommelin Street, Flushing, NY. If you are interested in larger volumes of compost, please contact us at [email omitted, go to the website to find it] or (718) 539-5296. Please note: Registration required. Please note you will not be given compost if you have not registered for this event. There are two sessions that you can register for: 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 to 3:30 p.m. Only one session registration is allowed per household; multiple-session registration will result in cancellation of one session.
NYC Parks
Queens Botanical Garden Parking Garden, Queens
7:30 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/compost-giveback

Rockaway Beach Cleanup, 3/14

Volunteer with the Stewardship Team at Rockaway Beach! Volunteers will be removing debris from the Rockaway Beach. Volunteers should dress in clothes that can get dirty, close-toed shoes, and warm layers. They are also encouraged to bring their own water bottles. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by a chaperone. Please note: Space is limited and registration is required.
NYC Parks
Dead End of Beach 56th Place (In Rockaway Beach), Queens
9:30 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/rockaway-beach-cleanup

Staten Island

Living With Deer, 3/8

Join the Urban Park Rangers to learn about deer. We will find signs of deer in the park (buck rubs, deer scat, deer prints, chewed twigs) on a hike outdoors, and share five tips to follow to promote a healthy coexistence with these animals.
NYC Parks
Greenbelt Nature Center (In Blood Root Valley), Staten Island
1 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/08/living-with-deer

Adult Canvas Painting, 3/9

Indulge in the art of painting with our popular canvas painting program that has everything but the wine! The projects created during this program will be guided, allowing participants of all skill levels to learn new techniques. Everyone paints the same design, but no artistry is alike!
South Beach Library
21-25 Robin Road, Staten Island, NY
4:30 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/09/adult-canvas-painting

Choose the Right Bin for You Workshop (NYC Compost Project), 3/14

There are many ways to compost, and many types of compost bins: big bins, small bins, short bins, tall bins! Does it need to have a lid? Can I keep it by my house? Can I make my own? You have questions. We have answers. This event is rain or shine. Free admission Registration requested here The NYC Compost Project, created by the NYC Department of Sanitation (DSNY) in 1993, works to rebuild NYC’s soils by providing New Yorkers with the knowledge, skills, and opportunities they need to make and use compost locally. Learn more: www.nyc.gov/compostproject
NYC Parks
Compost Demonstration Site (In Snug Harbor Cultural Center), Staten Island
11 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/choose-the-right-bin-for-you-workshop-nyc-compost-project

Winter Book Discussions @ Everything Goes Cafe: Do No Harm: Stories of Life, Death, and Brain Surgery by Henry Marsh, 3/14

What is it like to be a brain surgeon? How does it feel to hold someone’s life in your hands, to cut into the stuff that creates thought, feeling and reason? How do you live with the consequences of performing a potentially lifesaving operation when it all goes wrong?
With astonishing compassion and candor, leading neurosurgeon Henry Marsh reveals the fierce joy of operating, the profoundly moving triumphs, the harrowing disasters, the haunting regrets and the moments of black humor that charac…
St. George Library Center
5 Central Avenue, Staten Island, NY
2 PM
https://www.nypl.org
website: https://www.nypl.org/events/programs/2020/03/14/winter-book-discussions-everything-goes-cafe-do-no-harm-stories-life

Brooklyn

Exceedingly Good Song Night, 3/8

New York City's premier traditional/folk/roots singing session. Hosted by Ken Schatz. Sing and hear folk songs, blues, gospel, old-time, Appalachian, sea songs and chanteys, worksongs, ballads, railroad songs, prison songs, lullabies, forebitters, broadsides, hymns, vaudeville, camp songs, farming, mining and factory songs, country, bluegrass, spirituals, cowboy songs, English, Irish and Scottish Songs, labor and union songs, drinking songs, children’s songs, field hollers, music hall, love songs, and parodies.
Singers and listeners are welcome. Each Song Night, we have a loose theme to encourage people to learn new songs and remember ones they haven't sung in a while. If you'd like to lead a song, look for a traditional song or two that somehow fits our theme: Back and Forth.
315 Columbia Street, between Hamilton and Woodhull, Brooklyn 6-11p; $free jalopytheatre.org
Jalopy Theatre
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/

Big Irvs, 3/8

Big Irv's is back in action with a whole new showcase of the best storytelling this side of the river. Big talent in a tiny bodega. Can't miss.
Featuring Sam Dingman, Harmon Leon, Tracy Rowland, Jamie Beth Cohen, Edith Gonzales, and Calvin Cato. Plus two extra saucy open mic slots. With host Adam Selbst. This show is fun, free and BYOB so come on down.
Big Irvs 381 Hooper street, Brooklyn 7p doors, 7:30p show; $free
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/

The Science of Vaccines, 3/11

In the last 70 years or so, vaccines have saved millions of lives. They are among the most effective, safest, and cheap medicines ever discovered by humankind. Still, questions about vaccines resonate across our communities and in the media. Do vaccines cause autism? Are they harmful? What about their ingredients? Is vaccination a personal choice? In this talk, Francesco presents the basic facts about vaccines, and he will discuss these and many other questions. Communities need vaccines, and vaccines need communities. Come for a talk and stay for discussion with other curious visitors.
Biotech Without Borders 33 Flatbush Avenue, fourth floor, Brooklyn 7-9p; $free eventbrite.com/e/the-science-of-vaccines-tickets-95310017829
http://www.nonsensenyc.com/
website: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-science-of-vaccines-tickets-95310017829

Coney Island Beach Grass Planting, 3/14

Join NYC Parks Stewardship as we plant beach grass in Coney Island! Learn about the importance of this coastal area and what you can do to help. Volunteers should dress in clothes that can get dirty, close-toed shoes, and warm layers. They are also encouraged to bring their own water bottles. Volunteers under 18 must be accompanied by a chaperone. Please note: Space is limited and online registration is required.
NYC Parks
Riegelmann Boardwalk and 37th Street (In Coney Island Beach & Boardwalk), Brooklyn
10 AM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/coney-island-beach-grass-planting

Climate Change: Adapting in New York City, 3/14

Over the years, animals and plants have adapted to live in a city that's constantly changing. Join the Rangers for a hike through Prospect Park as we explore and learn more about its inhabitants.
NYC Parks
Prospect Park Picnic House (In Prospect Park), Brooklyn
1 PM
https://www.nycgovparks.org
website: https://www.nycgovparks.org/events/2020/03/14/climate-change-adapting-in-new-york-city
Not gonna shill my webapp this week, cuz it currently isn't working.
As always, feel free to let me know if there are other hosts/sources I should look at.
submitted by liferider09 to nyc [link] [comments]


2020.02.11 17:33 feedimo Exes-You-Forgot-Dated Bradley Cooper And Renée Zellweger Reunited At The Oscars

Exes-You-Forgot-Dated Bradley Cooper And Renée Zellweger Reunited At The Oscars submitted by feedimo to Feedimo [link] [comments]


2019.08.22 07:53 cam_mciver TIFF 2019 Films and Crew

I made a list for myself to keep track of information about each movie, so I made a big list (cuz I just love lists).
Figured it might help someone, thought I might as well post it. This list is only the top 29 films I'm interested in, includes most of this year's big films.
Included are the movies, director, writer, cast, the premiere and theatrical release date if available
TIFF 2019 Films and Crew
Marriage Story
The Laundromat
JoJo Rabbit
The Goldfinch
Release Date: September 13, 2019
Joker
Honey Boy
Bad Education
Knives Out
A24
The Lighthouse
Uncut Gems
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
Just Mercy
Judy
Radioactive
The Two Popes
Motherless Brooklyn
Ford v Ferrari
Lucy in the Sky
The Report
Parasite
Castle in the Ground
How to Build a Girl
Hustlers
The Personal History of David Copperfield
Endings, Beginnings
The True History of the Kelly Gang
Harriet
The Friend
The Aeronauts
WP = World Premiere
IP = International Premiere
CP= Canadian Premiere
NAP = North American Premiere
Galas
Special Presentations
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2019.05.27 18:32 TooLateHindsight King of the Hill 5x13 "Ho, Yeah!"

King of the Hill 5x13
Premise: Peggy befriends Strickland Propane's newest employee, Tammy Duvall (voiced by Renée Zellweger). Despite Hanks objection, Tammy begins to room and board with the Hill family while Peggy tutors her to take the GED. But as the family warms up to her, "Alabaster Jones" (voiced by Snoop Dogg) shows up.... and they soon discover that Hank has been unwittingly "pimping" her all around town.
https://preview.redd.it/vntakv0t6s031.jpg?width=260&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=331f770961b9991007fece024180858905d40082
Directed By: Tricia Garcia and Klay Hall
Written By: Mike Judge, Greg Daniels, Alex Gregory, and Peter Huyck
Original date: 25 February 2001
Fun Fact: The King Of The Hill theme during the closing credits of this episode is re-imagined as a funky wah-wah infused Blaxploitation/70s porn movie style version.
submitted by TooLateHindsight to KingOfTheHill [link] [comments]


2019.04.23 18:24 Gato1980 What/If with Renée Zellweger Date Announcement May 24th Netflix

What/If with Renée Zellweger Date Announcement May 24th Netflix submitted by Gato1980 to television [link] [comments]


2019.04.23 16:40 demonol What/If with Renée Zellweger Date Announcement Netflix

What/If with Renée Zellweger Date Announcement Netflix submitted by demonol to MediaDiscord [link] [comments]


2019.04.10 04:33 the_potato_eat Comment the best copypasta you have

Mine is this shit
$0.86 will get you 26 ounces of table salt. A grain of salt is about 0.0000585 grams or 0.000002064 ounces. That's somewhere around 12,596,900 grains of salt. If you really wanted to splurge, you could spend an extra $0.14 to get another 1,900,000 grains to take you up to an exhilarating 14,500,000 grains of salt. Just imagine how much fun you could have with almost 15 million grains of salt. You could put some in your neighbor's car's gas tank. You could put some in your own gas tank. You could even pour some into a water bottle and drink it to pretend you're lost at sea and can only drink salt water. The possibilities are as endless as the number of grains of salt you have.
. For thousands of years, humans have misunderstood them, and feared them. Now - one bee in a turtleneck sweater is gonna change everything!
BEE!
Stand back, these are winter boots!
Wait! Why does his life have any less value than yours?
This fall!
I gotta say something.
Ya Like Jazz?
You're talking to humans! You're flying outside the hive!
Woah-ho-hooaaa!
Barry B. Benson
So you see soda spilled on a sidewalk and you don't drink it?
Is a little bee
He's not bothering anybody, get outta here, you creep!
Discovering a big secret!
How did this get here?
It's just honey, Barry.
This is stealing!
Cute Bee? Golden Blossom? Ray Liotta Private Select?
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this!
You have a plan?
Yes, plan "bee"!
He's brave!
Augh!
Where'd you get the honey?
It's ours now!
He's bold!
This can't possibly work.
Okay Barry, pull the chute!
He's reaching new heights!
What happened?
I just tried to talk to these guys!
Hi!
Agh, Bee!
Then there was a dustbuster, a toupee, a liferaft exploded. Now one's bald, ones in a boat, and they're both unconscious.
Jerry Seinfeld!
Renée Zellweger!
Dreamworks; Bee Movie!
. To yeet, or not to yeet--that is the question:
Whether 'tis danker in the mind to yeet
The slings and arrows of dank fortune
Or to yeet arms against a sea of troubles
And by yeeting end them. To yeet, to yeet--
No more--and by a sleep to say we yeet
The heartache, and the thousand dank shocks
That flesh yeets heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to yeet yeeted. To yeet, to yeet--
To yeet--perchance to yeet: ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may yeet
When we have yeeted off this dank coil,
Must yeet us pause. There yeets the respect
That yeets calamity of so dank life.
For who would yeet the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor yeets wrong, the dank man's contumely
The pangs of dank love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That dank merit of th' dank takes,
When he himself might his quietus yeet
With a dank bodkin? Who would fardels yeet,
To yeet and yeet under a dank life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The dank country, from whose bourn
No traveller yeets, yeets the will,
And makes us rather yeet those ills we yeet
Than yeet to others that we yeet not of?
Thus conscience does yeet cowards of us all,
And thus the dank hue of resolution
Is yeeted o'er with the dank cast of thought,
And enterprise of dank pitch and moment
With this regard their currents yeet dank
And yeet the name of action. -- Soft you now,
The dank Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons
Yeet all my sins yeeted.
. 🚨Attention🚨ALL FORTNITE GAMERS 🎮🎮🎮, John Wick is in great danger🆘, and he needs YOUR help to wipe out 💀 all the squads in THe tilted towers 🏢🏢🏢. To do this, he needs a gold SCAR 🔫 and a couple of chug-jugs🍺🍺. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number 💳 , and the three numbers on the back 3️⃣ and the expiration month and date 📅. But you gotta be quick ⚡so that John can secure the bag 💰, and achieve the epic victory R O Y AL.
. My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I ocassionaly drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Althought, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
. I realized this when I was in the shower one day. I have about 13 years until I have to get my prostate exam. That means I have 13 years to prepare for that day. Every month I plan to expand my anus via various objects. I will increase the diameter slowly but surely up until that day. That day when I walk in, my rectum will be no more than a dripping manhole. I won't have to feel the weirdness of another man in my anus. I advise everyone to prepare for that cursed day. For those who couldn't, bless your hearts.
When I was in 3rd grade, I was obsessed with the sound that comes from slapping my dick side to side. Basically, you have to rapidly twist your torso back and forth, propelling the penis to and fro, creating that slapping effect (you have to be buck naked). I even once thought of forming a dick-slapping gang; whenever we beat up somebody, we would throw him on the ground, surround him, strip naked, and torment him with our dick slapping noises. That sound is so perfect and crisp that I also thought of using it as a means of communication. Please don’t make fun of me for this because I was young and it was a long time ago.
. Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^) and the most adorable thing ever is when sperm-sama comes out but theyre rlly shy so u have to work hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but when penis-kun and sperm-sama meet and theyre blushing and all like "uwaaa~!" (ノ´ヮ´)ノ: ・゚hehehe~penis-kun is so adorable (●´Д`●)・
Every day I dream💭💭 of Danny Devito💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️ being my dad👨‍👦‍👦. In my dream, I ask💬 ✨ ✨ him to break 🔨 both my knees 🦵 🦵 🦵 and amputate💉🔪🔪 the bottom 🍑 half half of my legs 👖. He then 💁🏻‍♂️ begins to then stitch 🧵 my feet 🦶 🦶 to the bottom 🍑🍑✨ of my stump 🦵🦵legs🦵🦵 so we 👯‍♂️ can stand 👌 at the same height📏📐. He looks 👀 me right ➡️ in the eyes 👁 👁, face to face💃🏻🕺, and tells me🗯🗯 how proud ☺️ he 💁🏻‍♂️ is to have me as a child 👨‍👦🤱🏻. I begin to scream 😱 as my body 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️ slowly 🐢 beings to morph 💫 violently into the shape🔵🔷⬛️ of Danny Devito💁🏻‍♂️. He laughs 🤣 as my being 😩 shapeshifts 🧬 🧬 ✂️ , my hair 💇🏻‍♀️ recedes back 🔙 into my head 👤 and my face contorts 👁👅👁 until I am the spitting 🌬 image ✨✨ of my father 👨‍👦 Danny Devito. He then kisses 💋💦 me on the forehead 🙋🏻‍♂️ and whispers 💨 goodbye💥💥💥 as he fades into the void 🌠🌌. I begin to cry 😭 😔. I have become 🐝 💦 my father 👨‍👦.
.
Last night I was looking for some porn of the not gay variety. Obviously gay porn is gay, so instead I went looking for guy on girl porn. But I realized that features a guy, with a penis, and is therefore 50% gay. So I started looking for some girl on girl action, till I realized that is lesbian, and is therefore 100% gay.
So clearly, I had to look into alternative options. I started to consider hentai: since no one in it is real, it can’t contain guys, so it’s not gay, right? Well, hentai is anime, which not only is gay, but also makes me a weeb. The worst option so far.
I considered traps. I’ve long heard debate over whether traps are gay, so I decided to do the math. The gayness of traps lies in the premise. Let’s consider the 5 base premises: 1) a guy and a trap, where the guy initially thinks he’s with a girl: effectively guy on girl, 50% gay 2) a guy with a trap, and the guy knew it was a trap: Dude looking for some dick, that’s gay 3) a girl with a trap, where the girl doesn’t know it’s a trap: that’s lesbian, and is gay 4) a girl with a trap, where the girl knows it’s a trap: effectively guy on girl, therefore 50% gay Therefore, on average traps are 75% gay, with a minimum gayness of 50%. Not an improvement. The 5th option, trap on trap, is a singularity of the 4 prior possibilities, and is therefore on average 75% gay again.
So I got into specifics. What if it was girl on girl, and the premise was at least one of the girls was just bi-curious, and not actually fully lesbian? Well, in that case, their curiosity makes them a cat. Cats are furries, and furries are gay ,, So how about a girl soloing? Well that’s a girl touching girl bits. Lesbian and gay.
My conclusion is that the only way to live a life free of homosexual sin is to liberate oneself of sexual desire at all, and become an asexual.
I hate Stuart Little so god damn much. Do you have any idea how much he has ruined my life? I'll be trying to pull into a parking spot in a crowded parking lot, and I'll think it's a free spot, and I try to pull into it, but guess who's fucking there? That fucking rat, in his small ass car. I want to put him in a pipe sock and slam him against a fucking boulder. Why does my son look up to him? I once saw the little rabies-filled fucker and I asked him for his autograph, since my son is a fan. I rushed home to give my son the signature, but he ended up crying because all that was on the paper was "Fuck you and your son. I hope he dies in an agressive raping incedent." I hate that little fucker so much, I want to stick him in a goddamn waffle iron. I'm shaking with rage right now.
The FitnessGram Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start!
⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢰⣄⠀⠻⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣿⣦⡀⠈⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢻⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⠁⢀⡈⠉⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⡟⠁⢀⣀⣀⠈⠹⡇⠀⣶⣤⡄⠈⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⣦⠀⢻ ⣿⡇⠀⠟⢀⠈⢻⠀⢸⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠆⠀⡇⠀⠉⠉⢀⣰⣿⠀⢸⣿⣿⡿⠀⣸ ⣿⡇⠀⣠⣾⣷⡀⠀⢸⣦⡀⠈⠉⠉⢀⣰⡇⠀⣷⣤⡀⠙⣿⠀⢸⣿⠿⠁⢠⣿ ⣿⣷⠾⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢷⣴⣿⣿⡿⠶⠛⠤⣄⣀⣠⣴⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢰⣶⣦⠀⢸⡿⠁⠀⢹⣿⡏⢀⣤⣀⣿⣿⡟⠀⣠⣶⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠘⠋⠁⣠⣾⠃⢠⡇⠀⢻⣧⣀⠉⠙⠛⢿⣧⣀⣀⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢰⣾⣿⣿⠇⢀⣠⣤⡄⠈⣿⣿⢿⣷⡆⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠆⢈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣀⣼⣿⣿⣯⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣄⣸⣧⣄⣀⣀⣴⣿⡉⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ Nigga
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.. .-. . / ..- ... / .- .-. -- . -.. / ..-. --- .-. -.-. . ... .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / -. --- - .... .. -. --. / - --- / -- . / -... ..- - / .--- ..- ... - / .- -. --- - .... . .-. / - .- .-. --. . - .-.-.- / .. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / .-- .. .--. . / -.-- --- ..- / - .... . / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- / --- ..- - / .-- .. - .... / .--. .-. . -.-. .. ... .. --- -. / - .... . / .-.. .. -.- . ... / --- ..-. / .-- .... .. -.-. .... / .... .- ... / -. . ...- . .-. / -... . . -. / ... . . -. / -... . ..-. --- .-. . / --- -. / - .... .. ... / . .- .-. - .... --..-- / -- .- .-. -.- / -- -.-- / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / .-- --- .-. -.. ... .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- / - .... .. -. -.- / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. / --. . - / .- .-- .- -.-- / .-- .. - .... / ... .- -.-- .. -. --. / - .... .- - / ... .... .. - / - --- / -- . / --- ...- . .-. / - .... . / .. -. - . .-. -. . - ..--.. / - .... .. -. -.- / .- --. .- .. -. --..-- / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- . .-. .-.-.- / .- ... / .-- . / ... .--. . .- -.- / .. / .- -- / -.-. --- -. - .- -.-. - .. -. --. / -- -.-- / ... . -.-. .-. . - / -. . - .-- --- .-. -.- / --- ..-. / ... .--. .. . ... / .- -.-. .-. --- ... ... / - .... . / ..- ... .- / .- -. -.. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .. .--. / .. ... / -... . .. -. --. / - .-. .- -.-. . -.. / .-. .. --. .... - / -. --- .-- / ... --- / -.-- --- ..- / -... . - - . .-. / .--. .-. . .--. .- .-. . / ..-. --- .-. / - .... . / ... - --- .-. -- --..-- / -- .- --. --. --- - .-.-.- / - .... . / ... - --- .-. -- / - .... .- - / .-- .. .--. . ... / --- ..- - / - .... . / .--. .- - .... . - .. -.-. / .-.. .. - - .-.. . / - .... .. -. --. / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .-.. .. ..-. . .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / -.. . .- -.. --..-- / -.- .. -.. .-.-.- / .. / -.-. .- -. / -... . / .- -. -.-- .-- .... . .-. . --..-- / .- -. -.-- - .. -- . --..-- / .- -. -.. / .. / -.-. .- -. / -.- .. .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- / .. -. / --- ...- . .-. / ... . ...- . -. / .... ..- -. -.. .-. . -.. / .-- .- -.-- ... --..-- / .- -. -.. / - .... .- - .----. ... / .--- ..- ... - / .-- .. - .... / -- -.-- / -... .- .-. . / .... .- -. -.. ... .-.-.- / -. --- - / --- -. .-.. -.-- / .- -- / .. / . -..- - . -. ... .. ...- . .-.. -.-- / - .-. .- .. -. . -.. / .. -. / ..- -. .- .-. -- . -.. / -.-. --- -- -... .- - --..-- / -... ..- - / .. / .... .- ...- . / .- -.-. -.-. . ... ... / - --- / - .... . / . -. - .. .-. . / .- .-. ... . -. .- .-.. / --- ..-. / - .... . / ..- -. .. - . -.. / ... - .- - . ... / -- .- .-. .. -. . / -.-. --- .-. .--. ... / .- -. -.. / .. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / ..- ... . / .. - / - --- / .. - ... / ..-. ..- .-.. .-.. / . -..- - . -. - / - --- / .-- .. .--. . / -.-- --- ..- .-. / -- .. ... . .-. .- -... .-.. . / .- ... ... / --- ..-. ..-. / - .... . / ..-. .- -.-. . / --- ..-. / - .... . / -.-. --- -. - .. -. . -. - --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / .-.. .. - - .-.. . / ... .... .. - .-.-.- / .. ..-. / --- -. .-.. -.-- / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. / .... .- ...- . / -.- -. --- .-- -. / .-- .... .- - / ..- -. .... --- .-.. -.-- / .-. . - .-. .. -... ..- - .. --- -. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .-.. .. - - .-.. . / .-..-. -.-. .-.. . ...- . .-. .-..-. / -.-. --- -- -- . -. - / .-- .- ... / .- -... --- ..- - / - --- / -... .-. .. -. --. / -.. --- .-- -. / ..- .--. --- -. / -.-- --- ..- --..-- / -- .- -.-- -... . / -.-- --- ..- / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. / .... .- ...- . / .... . .-.. -.. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / - --- -. --. ..- . .-.-.- / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / -.. .. -.. -. .----. - --..-- / .- -. -.. / -. --- .-- / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / .--. .- -.-- .. -. --. / - .... . / .--. .-. .. -.-. . --..-- / -.-- --- ..- / --. --- -.. -.. .- -- -. / .. -.. .. --- - .-.-.- / .. / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / ... .... .. - / ..-. ..- .-. -.-- / .- .-.. .-.. / --- ...- . .-. / -.-- --- ..- / .- -. -.. / -.-- --- ..- / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -.. .-. --- .-- -. / .. -. / .. - .-.-.- / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / -.. . .- -.. --..-- / -.- .. -.. -.. --- .-.-.-.
So yeah i have more but I'm keeping them for special occasions
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2019.03.24 22:36 the_potato_eat Ted talk

$0.86 will get you 26 ounces of table salt. A grain of salt is about 0.0000585 grams or 0.000002064 ounces. That's somewhere around 12,596,900 grains of salt. If you really wanted to splurge, you could spend an extra $0.14 to get another 1,900,000 grains to take you up to an exhilarating 14,500,000 grains of salt. Just imagine how much fun you could have with almost 15 million grains of salt. You could put some in your neighbor's car's gas tank. You could put some in your own gas tank. You could even pour some into a water bottle and drink it to pretend you're lost at sea and can only drink salt water. The possibilities are as endless as the number of grains of salt you have.
. For thousands of years, humans have misunderstood them, and feared them. Now - one bee in a turtleneck sweater is gonna change everything!
BEE!
Stand back, these are winter boots!
Wait! Why does his life have any less value than yours?
This fall!
I gotta say something.
Ya Like Jazz?
You're talking to humans! You're flying outside the hive!
Woah-ho-hooaaa!
Barry B. Benson
So you see soda spilled on a sidewalk and you don't drink it?
Is a little bee
He's not bothering anybody, get outta here, you creep!
Discovering a big secret!
How did this get here?
It's just honey, Barry.
This is stealing!
Cute Bee? Golden Blossom? Ray Liotta Private Select?
I'm gonna get to the bottom of this!
You have a plan?
Yes, plan "bee"!
He's brave!
Augh!
Where'd you get the honey?
It's ours now!
He's bold!
This can't possibly work.
Okay Barry, pull the chute!
He's reaching new heights!
What happened?
I just tried to talk to these guys!
Hi!
Agh, Bee!
Then there was a dustbuster, a toupee, a liferaft exploded. Now one's bald, ones in a boat, and they're both unconscious.
Jerry Seinfeld!
Renée Zellweger!
Dreamworks; Bee Movie!
. To yeet, or not to yeet--that is the question:
Whether 'tis danker in the mind to yeet
The slings and arrows of dank fortune
Or to yeet arms against a sea of troubles
And by yeeting end them. To yeet, to yeet--
No more--and by a sleep to say we yeet
The heartache, and the thousand dank shocks
That flesh yeets heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to yeet yeeted. To yeet, to yeet--
To yeet--perchance to yeet: ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may yeet
When we have yeeted off this dank coil,
Must yeet us pause. There yeets the respect
That yeets calamity of so dank life.
For who would yeet the whips and scorns of time,
Th' oppressor yeets wrong, the dank man's contumely
The pangs of dank love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That dank merit of th' dank takes,
When he himself might his quietus yeet
With a dank bodkin? Who would fardels yeet,
To yeet and yeet under a dank life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The dank country, from whose bourn
No traveller yeets, yeets the will,
And makes us rather yeet those ills we yeet
Than yeet to others that we yeet not of?
Thus conscience does yeet cowards of us all,
And thus the dank hue of resolution
Is yeeted o'er with the dank cast of thought,
And enterprise of dank pitch and moment
With this regard their currents yeet dank
And yeet the name of action. -- Soft you now,
The dank Ophelia! -- Nymph, in thy orisons
Yeet all my sins yeeted.
. 🚨Attention🚨ALL FORTNITE GAMERS 🎮🎮🎮, John Wick is in great danger🆘, and he needs YOUR help to wipe out 💀 all the squads in THe tilted towers 🏢🏢🏢. To do this, he needs a gold SCAR 🔫 and a couple of chug-jugs🍺🍺. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number 💳 , and the three numbers on the back 3️⃣ and the expiration month and date 📅. But you gotta be quick ⚡so that John can secure the bag 💰, and achieve the epic victory R O Y AL.
. My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I ocassionaly drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Althought, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.
. I realized this when I was in the shower one day. I have about 13 years until I have to get my prostate exam. That means I have 13 years to prepare for that day. Every month I plan to expand my anus via various objects. I will increase the diameter slowly but surely up until that day. That day when I walk in, my rectum will be no more than a dripping manhole. I won't have to feel the weirdness of another man in my anus. I advise everyone to prepare for that cursed day. For those who couldn't, bless your hearts.
When I was in 3rd grade, I was obsessed with the sound that comes from slapping my dick side to side. Basically, you have to rapidly twist your torso back and forth, propelling the penis to and fro, creating that slapping effect (you have to be buck naked). I even once thought of forming a dick-slapping gang; whenever we beat up somebody, we would throw him on the ground, surround him, strip naked, and torment him with our dick slapping noises. That sound is so perfect and crisp that I also thought of using it as a means of communication. Please don’t make fun of me for this because I was young and it was a long time ago.
. Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω\) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!(^ワ^) and the most adorable thing ever is when sperm-sama comes out but theyre rlly shy so u have to work hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but when penis-kun and sperm-sama meet and theyre blushing and all like "uwaaa~!" (ノ´ヮ´)ノ: ・゚hehehe~penis-kun is so adorable (●´Д`●)・
Every day I dream💭💭 of Danny Devito💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️ being my dad👨‍👦‍👦. In my dream, I ask💬 ✨ ✨ him to break 🔨 both my knees 🦵 🦵 🦵 and amputate💉🔪🔪 the bottom 🍑 half half of my legs 👖. He then 💁🏻‍♂️ begins to then stitch 🧵 my feet 🦶 🦶 to the bottom 🍑🍑✨ of my stump 🦵🦵legs🦵🦵 so we 👯‍♂️ can stand 👌 at the same height📏📐. He looks 👀 me right ➡️ in the eyes 👁 👁, face to face💃🏻🕺, and tells me🗯🗯 how proud ☺️ he 💁🏻‍♂️ is to have me as a child 👨‍👦🤱🏻. I begin to scream 😱 as my body 🚶🏻‍♂️🚶🏻‍♂️ slowly 🐢 beings to morph 💫 violently into the shape🔵🔷⬛️ of Danny Devito💁🏻‍♂️. He laughs 🤣 as my being 😩 shapeshifts 🧬 🧬 ✂️ , my hair 💇🏻‍♀️ recedes back 🔙 into my head 👤 and my face contorts 👁👅👁 until I am the spitting 🌬 image ✨✨ of my father 👨‍👦 Danny Devito. He then kisses 💋💦 me on the forehead 🙋🏻‍♂️ and whispers 💨 goodbye💥💥💥 as he fades into the void 🌠🌌. I begin to cry 😭 😔. I have become 🐝 💦 my father 👨‍👦.
.
Last night I was looking for some porn of the not gay variety. Obviously gay porn is gay, so instead I went looking for guy on girl porn. But I realized that features a guy, with a penis, and is therefore 50% gay. So I started looking for some girl on girl action, till I realized that is lesbian, and is therefore 100% gay.
So clearly, I had to look into alternative options. I started to consider hentai: since no one in it is real, it can’t contain guys, so it’s not gay, right? Well, hentai is anime, which not only is gay, but also makes me a weeb. The worst option so far.
I considered traps. I’ve long heard debate over whether traps are gay, so I decided to do the math. The gayness of traps lies in the premise. Let’s consider the 5 base premises: 1) a guy and a trap, where the guy initially thinks he’s with a girl: effectively guy on girl, 50% gay 2) a guy with a trap, and the guy knew it was a trap: Dude looking for some dick, that’s gay 3) a girl with a trap, where the girl doesn’t know it’s a trap: that’s lesbian, and is gay 4) a girl with a trap, where the girl knows it’s a trap: effectively guy on girl, therefore 50% gay Therefore, on average traps are 75% gay, with a minimum gayness of 50%. Not an improvement. The 5th option, trap on trap, is a singularity of the 4 prior possibilities, and is therefore on average 75% gay again.
So I got into specifics. What if it was girl on girl, and the premise was at least one of the girls was just bi-curious, and not actually fully lesbian? Well, in that case, their curiosity makes them a cat. Cats are furries, and furries are gay
So how about a girl soloing? Well that’s a girl touching girl bits. Lesbian and gay.
My conclusion is that the only way to live a life free of homosexual sin is to liberate oneself of sexual desire at all, and become an asexual.
Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
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2017.09.01 07:35 autobuzzfeedbot 19 Surprising Celebrity Couples Who’ll Make You Say “Wait, They Used To Date?!”

  1. Natalie Portman and Moby.
  2. Paris Hilton and Benji Madden.
  3. Aubrey Plaza and Michael Cera.
  4. Ryan Gosling and Sandra Bullock.
  5. Lizzy Caplan and Matthew Perry.
  6. Fergie and Justin Timberlake.
  7. Scarlett Johansson and Jack Antonoff.
  8. Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio
  9. Rihanna and Shia LaBeouf.
  10. Ashton Kutcher and January Jones.
  11. Rashida Jones and Mark Ronson.
  12. Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette.
  13. Bradley Cooper and Renée Zellweger.
  14. Nick Cannon and Kim Kardashian.
  15. Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal.
  16. Keira Knightley and Jamie Dornan.
  17. Rosario Dawson and Danny Boyle.
  18. Emily Blunt and Michael Bublé.
  19. Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/jasminnahacelebrities-who-used-to-date
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2017.09.01 06:08 Dudecalion Upcoming TV and Movies - 2017

Not likely a complete list but it should get the blood flowing and the bones a-rattling.

Gary (Adam Scott) who has just married Samantha (Evangeline Lilly) the woman of his dreams, discovers that her six-year-old son may be the Antichrist.
Ryan Murphy confirmed that the season will be connected to Freak Show; but will be set in modern day. The season will revolve around the 2016 U.S. election and may feature a character based on President Donald Trump. Murphy has said that the season will be representative of both sides of the political divide. He also said that he will be "illuminating and highlighting" groups of people he believes to be "ignored by the current [Trump] administration and who are afraid and feel terrorized that their lives are going to be taken away."
In the Town of Derry, the local kids are disappearing one by one, leaving behind bloody remains. In a place known as 'The Barrens', a group of seven kids are united by their horrifying and strange encounters with an evil clown and their determination to kill It.
The third season continues from the second season, with all main characters - aside from Victor Strand - moving away from La Colonia or Rosarito Beach Hotel, the two main locations of the latter half of the second season, towards the United States.
A couple's (Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem) relationship is tested when uninvited guests (Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer) arrive at their home, disrupting their tranquil existence.
Airing this year at 6-7am, 11-12pm, 2-3pm, 6-7pm (ET)
The Creepypasta-inspired anthology show returns with a completely new cast, story, and setting. This time, instead of a murderous puppet show, it’s about a house that seems like a fun amusement park-type attraction, until those who visit it realize its mind-warping capabilities are truly terrifying.
Recovering from the trauma of being kidnapped last Halloween by the Blue Skeleton - a group who take "extreme haunt" to another level - five friends decide they must face their fears in order to move on. Heading back out on the road to visit more haunted house attractions, signs of the Blue Skeleton start appearing again and a new terror begins.
This season’s Halloween Baking Championship contestants are Jasmin Bell (Seattle), Cliff Butler (Austin), Tyler Davis (St. Louis), Jonathan Elias (Birmingham, Mi.), Andrea Kratville (Sonora, Cali.), Dina Melendez (Brooklyn), Jessica Scott (San Diego) and Ray Vizcaino (San Diego).
The Exorcist season 2 will see the series develop as an anthology. The first step in the progression is to move away from Chicago, where the urban elite put on much too vulgar a display of power. The series will also continue to follow the devilish doing of the institution of the church. Kurt Egyiawan’s Father Bennett will go to the sacred heart of matter, the Vatican.
Five medical students, obsessed by what lies beyond the confines of life, embark on a daring experiment: by stopping their hearts for short periods, each triggers a near-death experience - giving them a firsthand account of the afterlife.
After moving into a cottage together, a young couple begin to recover memories of their childhoods which include some seriously screwed up—and demonic—episodes.
Two guys are recruited by a secret organization called the Bureau Underground to investigate paranormal activity in Los Angeles. Craig Robinson is the skeptic cop-turned-security guard, while Adam Scott is a genius bookstore worker who thinks his wife was kidnapped by aliens.
The third season starts with what were supposed to be the final four episodes of last season, but Fox chose to move them so the season would end on a cliffhanger. As a result, we’ve had to wait until now to find out how Lucifer got his wings back, and why he’s strutting his stuff like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. This show is pretty weird, but relatively harmless.
The show’s Millennial-aged “League of Freedom” and more seasoned crime-fighter Titanium Rex (voiced by Bryan Cranston) experience Halloween, Titanium’s least favorite night of the year.
Based on Francis Ford Coppola’s 1963 film of the same name. A vengeful ghost, a mysterious killer and a family brimming with secrets converge in one night of terror….
This season will feature a backdoor pilot to a possible spin-off series called Wayward Sisters, starring Kim Rhodes as Sheriff Jody Mills, Briana Buckmaster as Sheriff Donna Hanscum, Kathryn Newton as Claire Novak, Katherine Ramdeen as Alex Jones and Clark Backo as Patience Turner.
A teenage girl, trying to enjoy her birthday, soon realizes that this is her final one. That is, if she can figure out who her killer is. She must relive that day, over and over again, dying in a different way each time. Can she solve her own murder?
On each of the 13 nights leading up to Halloween, Zombie will introduce and share his thoughts on the horror films airing during the event. Those movies will include 1958’s creature feature The Blob, Wes Craven’s notorious 1972 shocker The Last House On The Left, 2009’s Renée Zellweger-starring Case 39, and 2012’s The Devil Inside.
Madea, Bam, and Hattie venture to a haunted campground and the group must literally run for their lives when monsters, goblins, and the boogeyman are unleashed.
The season adapts the All Out War story arc from the comics, with the survivors of Alexandria, the Hilltop, and the Kingdom taking on Negan and the Saviors.
The entire season, takes place on and around Halloween 1984. “[It will be] a lot more horror-oriented,” Finn Wolfhard told People earlier this year. “I think people are going to like it more than the first season…there are going to be some challenges that the characters face that are real. That are disturbing.”
Bodies are turning up around the city, each having met a uniquely gruesome demise. As the investigation proceeds, evidence points to one man: John Kramer. But how can this be? The man known as Jigsaw has been dead for over a decade.
The fans have spoken, and the network overlords have listened: Stan Against Evil is simply too good to end after one solitary season. Cliffhangers will be unhung! Plot twists will get even twistier! John C McGinley will continue to be all-around awesome!


If anyone can verify the dates on the below shows, or learns of any others, let us know in the comments.

A new, hourlong animated special, featuring the King of Pop’s music as its soundtrack.
Carpenter has signed an overall deal with Universal Cable Productions and is teaming with Syfy to develop scripted anthology Tales for a Halloween Night. Carpenter and UCP are also developing a take on Simon R. Green's Nightside.
  • Halloween Wars (Season 7) ????
  • Disney's Monstober 2017 ????
  • AMC Fearfest 2017 ????
  • SyFy's 31 Days of Halloween 2017 ????
  • Freeform Network's (ABC Family) 13 Nights of Halloween 2017 ????


Something for Creepmas

  • Polaroid Horror December 1 in theaters
High school loner Bird Fitcher has no idea what dark secrets are tied to the mysterious Polaroid vintage camera she stumbles upon, but it doesn't take long to discover that those who have their picture taken meet a tragic end.
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2017.06.08 22:26 telly12523 Joan Rivers would have been 84 today. In tribute, NY Magazine gathered 50 of her best jokes to help us laugh through all the tears.

I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn’t toss and turn, we’d never have had the kid. People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. I was born in 1962 … and the room next to me was 1963. The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die, they will donate my body to Tupperware. My vagina is like Newark. Men know it's there, but they don't want to visit. A man can sleep around, no questions asked. But if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she's a tramp. I wish I had a twin so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery. I hate housework. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later, you have to start all over again. My husband killed himself. And it was my fault. We were making love and I took the bag off my head. When I was born, my mother asked the doctor, "Will she live?" He said, "Only if you take your foot off her throat." My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller. Don't talk to me about Valentine's Day. At my age, an affair of the heart is a bypass. My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. I was the only Jewish kid in a Catholic neighborhood. They all did Hail Marys, I did Hail Murrays. You know it’s time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary. Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, "Melissa, you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep." I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, "The man goes on top and the woman underneath." For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. Princess Diana and the Queen are driving down the lane when their car is forced off the road by masked thieves. "Out of the car and hand over your jewels." After the thieves rob them and steal their car, Diana begins to put her earrings, necklace, and rings back on. "Wherever did you hide those," demanded the Queen. "Where do you think?" asked Diana. "Pity Margaret wasn't here," said the Queen. "We could have saved the Bentley." I was so ugly that they sent my picture to Ripley’s Believe It or Not and he sent it back and said, "I don’t believe it." California is druggy, druggy, druggy. If it is white and it is on the table, they are gonna sniff it. I have a friend who O.D.ed in the beauty shop on dandruff. The women in California, they get scared. A guy flashes you, they go to the police, "He's flashing! He's flashing!" In New York, a guy flashes you, you took your embroidery hoop and played ring toss. Don't you hate McDonald's? I heard you can't get a job there unless you have a skin condition. Stevie Wonder, that poor son of a bitch. Who's going to tell him he's wearing a macramé plant holder on his head? When the rabbi said, "Do you take this man," 14 guys said, "She has." My husband bought the horseback-riding story, thank God. Lindsay Lohan said she wouldn't mind being under oath because she thought Oath was a Norwegian ski instructor. Elizabeth Taylor is so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin. If Kate Winslet had dropped a few pounds, the Titanic would never have sunk. You want to get Cindy Crawford confused? Ask her to spell mombackwards. I was so flat, I used to put Xs on my chest and write, "You are here." I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet. I blame myself for David Gest. It was me who told Liza Minnelli to find herself a man who wouldn't sleep with other women. The whole Michael Jackson thing was my fault. I told him to date only 28-year-olds. Who knew he would find 20 of them? I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. And since we’re all adults here, let’s be brutally honest — most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they’re weird and freakish-looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed together, kind of like Renée Zellweger pushed up against a glass window. The most beautiful women in the world are always the dumbest. The most beautiful woman in the whole world, Bo Derek … This woman is an idiot. She studies for her Pap test. I was dating a proctologist with a sense of humor. We'd go out for drinks, he'd go, "Bottoms up." I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, "Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe." I was dating a football player. He was so dumb. The man could not count to 21 unless he was naked. Did you hear Tom Cruise just had a baby? He was there when it was born ... He should have been there when it was conceived. My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark. I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. I saw my first porno film recently. It was a Jewish porno film — one minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt. Not all plastic surgeons are good. My cousin went to one and told him she wanted to turn back the hands of time. Now she has a face that could stop a clock. Everybody talks about multiple orgasm. Multiple orgasm — I'm lucky if both sides of my toaster pop. Madonna has just lost 30 pounds — she shaved her legs. On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell. The one thing women do not want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband. I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout. Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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2016.11.30 15:49 OzenTheWise Urethra

Bee Movie is a 2007 American computer animated family comedy film produced by DreamWorks Animation and distributed by Paramount Pictures.1 It stars Jerry Seinfeld and Renée Zellweger.
Bee Movie is the first motion-picture script to be written by Seinfeld, who co-wrote the film with Spike Feresten, Barry Marder, and Andy Robin. The film was directed by Simon J. Smith and Steve Hickner and produced by Seinfeld, Christina Steinberg, and Cameron Stevning. The production was designed by Alex McDowell, and Christophe Lautrette was the art director. Nick Fletcher was the supervising editor and music for the film was composed by Rupert Gregson-Williams.
The cast and crew include some veterans of Seinfeld's long-running NBC sitcom Seinfeld, including writeproducers Feresten and Robin, and actors Michael Richards (Seinfeld character Cosmo Kramer), Patrick Warburton (Seinfeld character David Puddy), and Larry Miller (who plays the title character on the Seinfeld episode "The Doorman"). Coincidentally, NBC was host to the broadcast television premiere of the film on November 27, 2010.[3]
Contents [hide] 1 Plot 2 Voice cast 2.1 Cast notes 3 Soundtrack 4 Marketing 4.1 Trailers 4.2 Books 4.3 Video game 4.4 Home media 5 Reception 5.1 Critical reception 5.2 Box office 5.3 Awards and nominations 6 Lawsuits 6.1 Beebylon vs. DreamWorks 6.2 Beeceuticals vs. DreamWorks 7 In popular culture 8 Notes 9 References 10 External links Plot A honeybee named Barry B. Benson (Jerry Seinfeld) has recently graduated from college and is about to enter the hive's Honex Industries honey-making workforce alongside his best friend Adam Flayman (Matthew Broderick). Barry is initially excited to join the workforce, but his courageous non-conformist attitude emerges upon discovering that his choice of job will never change once picked. Later, the two bees run into a group of Pollen Jocks, bees who collect pollen from flowers outside the hive. The Jocks offer to take Barry outside the hive to a flower patch, and he accepts. While on his first pollen-gathering expedition in New York City, Barry gets lost in the rain, and ends up on the balcony of a human florist named Vanessa (Renée Zellweger). Upon noticing Barry, Vanessa's boyfriend Ken (Patrick Warburton) attempts to squash him, but Vanessa gently catches and releases Barry outside the window, saving his life.
Barry later returns to express his gratitude to Vanessa, breaking the sacred rule that bees are not supposed to communicate with humans. Barry and Vanessa develop a close bond, bordering on attraction, and spend time together frequently. Later, while Barry and Vanessa are walking through a grocery store, Barry is terrified to discover that the humans have been stealing and eating the bees' honey for centuries. He decides to journey to Honey Farms, which supplies the grocery store with its honey. Furious at the poor treatment of the bees in the hive, including the use of bee smokers to subdue the colony, Barry decides to sue the human race to put an end to the exploitation of bees.
Barry's mission attracts wide attention from bees and humans alike, and hundreds of people show up to watch the trial. Although Barry is up against tough defense attorney Layton T. Montgomery (John Goodman) the trial's first day goes well. That evening, Barry is having dinner with Vanessa when Ken shows up. Vanessa leaves the room, and Ken expresses to Barry that he hates Barry and Vanessa spending time together. When Barry leaves to use the restroom, Ken ambushes Barry and attempts to kill him, only for Vanessa to intervene and break up with Ken.
The next day at the trial, Montgomery harshly criticises bees, which causes Adam into stinging him. Adam's actions jeopardize the bees' credibility and put Adam's life in danger, though he manages to survive. While visiting Adam in the hospital, Barry notices a man smoking outside, and is struck by inspiration. The next day, Barry wins the trial by exposing the jury to the cruel treatment bees are subjected to, particularly the smoker, and humans are banned from stealing honey from bees ever again.
Having lost the trial, Montgomery cryptically warns Barry that a negative shift in the balance of nature is imminent. As it turns out, the sudden, massive stockpile of honey has put every bee out of a job, including the vitally important Pollen Jocks. As a result, without anything to pollinate them, the world's flowers slowly begin to die out. Before long, the only flowers left with healthy pollen are those in a flower parade in Pasadena, California. Barry and Vanessa travel to the parade and steal a parade float, which they load onto a plane to be delivered to the bees so they can re-pollinate the world's flowers. When the plane's pilot and copilot are knocked unconscious, Vanessa is forced to land the plane, with help from Barry and the bees from Barry's hive.
Armed with the pollen of the last flowers, Barry and the Pollen Jocks manage to reverse the damage and save the world's flowers, restarting the bees' honey production. Humans and bees are seen working together, and certain brands of honey are now "bee-approved". Barry becomes a member of the Pollen Jocks, helping to pollinate the world's plants. Barry is also seen running a law firm inside Vanessa's flower shop, titled "Insects at Law", handling disputes between animals and humans. The film ends with Barry flying off to a flower patch with the Pollen Jocks.
Voice cast Jerry Seinfeld as Barry B. Benson Renée Zellweger as Vanessa Bloome Matthew Broderick as Adam Flayman Chris Rock as Mooseblood the Mosquito Patrick Warburton as Ken Kathy Bates as Janet B. Benson Barry Levinson as Martin B. Benson John Goodman as Layton T. Montgomery Megan Mullally as Trudy, Honex Tour Guide Rip Torn as Lou Lo Duca and the Pollen Jocks General Oprah Winfrey as Judge Bumbleton Michael Richards as Bud Ditchwater Larry King as Bee Larry King Larry Miller as Dean Buzzwell Jim Cummings as Title Narrator and Graduation Announcer Brian Hopkins as Sandy Shrimpkin and TSA Agent John DiMaggio as Bailiff and Janitor Tress MacNeille as Jeanette Chung, Mother and Cow Simon J. Smith as Truck Driver and Chet Robert Jayne as Bee (uncredited) Ray Liotta as Himself Sting as Himself Carl Kasell as Himself (uncredited) Cast notes Megan Mullally originally voiced the Queen of the Hive and had even recorded her lines; but this character was cut from the film. Seinfeld still wanted her to have a part in the movie, so he gave her the role of the Honex Tour Guide. At one point, Uma Thurman, Rebecca Soler, Lisa Kudrow, David Letterman, and Raven-Symoné were all attached to the film, but they dropped out for various reasons.[4]
Soundtrack Bee Movie Film score by Rupert Gregson-Williams Released October 30, 2007 Genre Score Length 44:56 Label RCA Records Rupert Gregson-Williams film scores chronology I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007) Bee Movie (2007) Made of Honor (2008) All music composed by Rupert Gregson-Williams, except as noted.
Track listing:[5] No. Title Performer Length 1. "Graduation" 3:13 2. "Honex" 2:48 3. "The Pollen Jocks" 1:32 4. "Barry Flies Out" 5:34 5. "Vanessa Intervenes" 2:01 6. "Sugar, Sugar" The Archies 2:46 7. "Assault on Honey Farms" 2:33 8. "Ken" 2:28 9. "Barry Turns the Screws" 3:12 10. "Monty Slanders and Adam Stings" 2:12 11. "Hearts, Flowers and Hive Closures" 2:34 12. "Honey Round Up" 1:38 13. "Rooftop Consequences" 1:50 14. "Land That Plane" 6:39 15. "Here Comes the Sun" Sheryl Crow 2:59 16. "Thinkin' Bee" (iTunes bonus track) Jerry Seinfeld & Matthew Broderick 0:57 Total length: 44:56 Marketing Trailers Two teaser trailers were released for the film that feature Seinfeld dressed in a bee costume, trying to shoot the film in live-action. Eddie Izzard portrays the direction agent, and Steven Spielberg suggests to Seinfeld in the second trailer to just do it as a cartoon. Upon the release of the first trailer, it was announced that three of the live-action teasers would be released in total.[6] In the second trailer, Steven Spielberg is taking a picture of himself and an assistant director, referencing the camera gag Ellen DeGeneres pulled on him during the 79th Academy Awards. After Seinfeld fails to do scenes in live-action, Spielberg suggests Seinfeld that the film can just be made as a cartoon. One of the crew members announce that the film is a cartoon, having the crew leave the stage studio. The trailer finally shows the movie as an animated CGI feature. Also in the second trailer, the bear that jumps out at Barry is Vincent the Bear from Over the Hedge, another DreamWorks Animation SKG movie.[7][8]
The third trailer was released with Shrek the Third, but this was an animated teaser. The fourth trailer was released on the Bee Movie official website, and revealed most of the film's plot.[9] In addition, two weeks before the release, NBC aired 22 behind-the-scenes skits called "Bee Movie TV Juniors," all of which are staged and tongue-in-cheek in nature.[10] The popular internet site Gaia Online featured a great deal of promotional material for the film.[11]
Books Ten books were released for the film: Bee Movie: The Story Book,[12] Bee Movie: The Honey Disaster,[13] The Art of Bee Movie,[14] Bee Movie: Deluxe Sound Storybook,[15] Bee Movie (Ultimate Sticker Books),[16] Bee Movie (I Can Find It),[17] Bee Movie: The Junior Novel,[18] Bee Movie: What’s the Buzz?,[18] Bee Movie Mad Libs,[19] and Bee Movie: Bee Meets Girl.[20]
Video game A video game titled Bee Movie Game was released on October 30, 2007 for Microsoft Windows, Xbox 360, Wii, PlayStation 2, and Nintendo DS.[21]
Home media Bee Movie was released on DVD on March 11, 2008 in both fullscreen and widescreen formats and a 2-disc special edition DVD. The single-disc extras include the "Inside the Hive: The Cast of Bee Movie" and "Tech of Bee Movie" featurettes, "We Got the Bee" music video, "Meet Barry B. Benson" feature, and interactive games.[22] The special edition DVD extras additionally include a filmmaker commentary, alternate endings, lost scenes with commentary, the live action trailers, and Jerry's Flight Over Cannes.[23] An HD DVD version was cancelled after the demise of HD DVD.[24] Paramount released the movie on Blu-ray Disc on May 20, 2008.[25]
Reception Critical reception The film holds a 51% approval rating on the review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes, based on 169 reviews with an average rating of 5.7/10. The site's critical consensus reads: "Bee Movie has humorous moments, but its awkward premise and tame delivery render it mostly forgettable."[26] Another review aggregator, Metacritic, which assigns a normalized rating out of 100 top reviews from mainstream critics, calculated a score of 54 based on 34 reviews.[27] Audiences polled by CinemaScore gave the film an average grade of "B+" on an A+ to F scale.[28]
Kyle Smith of the New York Post gave the film three out of four stars, saying "After Shrek the Third's flatulence jokes, the return of that Seinfeldian wit brings animation up a level."[29] Michael Phillips of the Chicago Tribune gave the film two and a half stars out of four, saying "It's on the easygoing level of Surf's Up, and a full tick up from, say, Over the Hedge or The Ant Bully. But given the Seinfeld pedigree it's something of a disappointment."[30] Peter Travers of Rolling Stone gave the film three out of four stars, saying "At its relaxed best, when it's about, well, nothing, the slyly comic Bee Movie is truly beguiling."[30] Desson Thomson of The Washington Post said, "Bee Movie feels phoned in on every level. The images, usually computer animation's biggest draw, are disappointingly average. And as for the funny stuff, well, that's where you were supposed to come in."[31] A.O. Scott of the New York Times gave the film three and a half stars out of four, saying "The most genuinely apian aspect of Bee Movie is that it spends a lot of its running time buzzing happily around, sniffing out fresh jokes wherever they may bloom."[30] Claudia Puig gave the film one and a half stars out of four, saying "Bee Movie is certainly not low-budget, but it has all the staying power and creative value of a B-movie. The secret life of bees, as told by Seinfeld, is a bore with a capital B."[30] Steven Rea of The Philadelphia Inquirer gave the film three stars out of four, saying "Bee Movie is not Shrek, and it is not Ratatouille either (by far the standout computer-animated feature of the year). But it has enough buzzing wit and eye-popping animation to win over the kids—and probably more than a few parents, too."[32] Richard Roeper gave the film a positive review, saying "This is a beautifully animated, cleverly executed, warm and funny adventure."[30]
Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times gave the film two out of four stars, saying "All of this material, written by Seinfeld and writers associated with his television series, tries hard, but never really takes off. We learn at the outset of the movie that bees theoretically cannot fly. Unfortunately, in the movie, that applies only to the screenplay. It is really, really, really hard to care much about a platonic romantic relationship between Renee Zellweger and a bee, although if anyone could pull it off, she could."[33] Ty Burr of The Boston Globe gave the film three out of four stars, saying "The vibe is loose-limbed and fluky, and the gags have an extra snap that's recognizably Seinfeldian. If I believed in a sitcom afterlife, I'd swear the whole thing was cooked up by Kramer and George's dad."[34] Jack Mathews of the New York Daily News gave the film three out of four stars, saying "Watching this pun-filled cartoon is like falling into a tray of children's watercolors—the warm end, where oranges and yellows and ambers wave."[35] Stephen Whitty of the Newark Star-Ledger gave the film two and a half stars out of four, saying "The movie has some pretty pictures and a few good jokes, but not nearly enough. And the story suffers from sitcom attention-deficit disorder, veering off in a new direction every half-hour or so."[30] David Botti of Newsweek said, "What I like about Bee Movie is its comfy, off-the-cuff charm: unlike a lot of animated family entertainment, it's not all Thwack Smash Kaboom."[36] Moira MacDonald of The Seattle Times gave the film two and a half stars out of four, saying "Bee Movie doesn't touch the bar raised so high by Pixar, but it creates a little buzz of its own."[37] Peter Howell of the Toronto Star gave the film two and a half stars out of four, saying "Bee Movie is a cute movie. Not that there's anything ... well, you know the rest. But cute is not what adults expect from Jerry Seinfeld, although children will be delighted."[38]
Box office The film opened in second place to American Gangster, but its gross of $38,021,044 had it more in line with the studios' lowest-grossing features, such as Shark Tale. The film had an average of $9,679 from 3,928 theaters.[39] In its second weekend, the film held well with a 33% drop to $25,565,462 and claiming the top spot, resulting in a $6,482 average from expanding to 3,944 theaters.[40] Its widest release was 3,984 theaters, and closed on February 14, 2008 after 104 days of release, grossing $126,631,277 domestically along with an additional $160,963,300 overseas for a worldwide total of $287,594,577.[2] Produced on a $150 million budget, the film was a moderate box office success worldwide, but it was a disappointment in the United States and is DreamWorks Animation's third lowest-grossing computer-animated film to date.[41] It was #3 in the UK Box office (behind Enchanted and The Golden Compass).
Awards and nominations Bee Movie was nominated for Best Animated Feature Film at the 65th Golden Globe Awards.[42]
Barry B. Benson was the announcer for Best Animated Short on the Oscars for 2008. But beforehand, he showed the audience some of his "prior" roles, including every bee in the swarm in The Swarm.[43]
Awards Award Category Name Outcome 35th Annie Awards Annie Award for Best Animated Feature Nominated Annie Award for Best Animation Production Artist Michael Isaak Annie Award for Best Music in an Animated Feature Production Rupert Gregson-Williams Annie Award for Best Storyboarding in an Animated Feature Production Athanassios Vakalis Annie Award for Best Voice Acting in an Animated Feature Production Patrick Warburton Broadcast Film Critics Association Awards Best Animated Feature Golden Globe Awards Golden Globe Award for Best Animated Feature Film Golden Reel Awards Best Sound Editing - SFX, Foley, Dialogue & ADR for Feature Film Animation Michael Silvers Will Files Luke Dunn Gielmuda J.J. George Scott Guitteda Kyrsten Mate Comoglio Robert Shoup Shannon Mills Steve Slanec Kevin Crehan Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards Favorite Animated Movie Favorite Voice from an Animated Movie Jerry Seinfeld Producers Guild of America Animated Theatrical Motion Picture Jerry Seinfeld Christina Steinerg Young Artist Awards Best Family Feature Film (Animation) Lawsuits Beebylon vs. DreamWorks Bee Movie is alleged to be similar to a concept developed in 2000 by a team of Swedish animation students, which they claim was presented to DreamWorks in 2001 under the name Beebylon. The animation students say DreamWorks rejected the idea, on the basis of it being "too childish". When Bee Movie was announced in 2003, the students claim they once again contacted DreamWorks to make sure the movie was not similar to their original concept, and was given a reassuring answer. When one of the members of the Beebylon team saw a trailer of the movie in 2007, he found it to be extremely similar and attempted to find a U.S. lawyer who could represent them. Jerry Seinfeld rejected the plagiarism claims during his PR tour for Bee Movie in Sweden. "I'm doing my best not to laugh and I'm taking it as serious as I can. But it's a little bit hard. It is entirely possible that somebody else came up with an idea about making a movie about bees. I knew nothing of this until this very morning and I hope they are not too upset."[44][45][46][47][48][49]
Beeceuticals vs. DreamWorks A Florida-based cosmetics company called Beeceuticals filed a lawsuit over the use of their trademarked phrase "Give Bees a Chance".[50][51] The suit between the parties was settled out of court.[52]
In popular culture Years after the film's release, the film had become an internet phenomena. In 2015, posts of the entire film screenplay spread across Facebook.[53][54] In November 2016, a video where the entire film sped up everytime the word "bee" was uttered had gathered millions of views.[55]
Notes ^ In July 2014, the film's distribution rights were purchased by DreamWorks Animation from Paramount Pictures.[69XD]
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2013.05.22 22:31 YanivRokah I am Yaniv Rokah Director of the documentary Queen Mimi. Mimi and I attended the Premier of Hangover III as the personal guest of Zach Galifianakis. Ask me anything!

I am a professional Actor and Director currently working on a documentary entitled "Queen Mimi". I have spent five years following and documenting one of the most inspirational people I have met to date. homeless for 25 years, Mimi's life turned around thanks to the quiet generosity of one of the world's best known comic actors, Zach Galifianakis ("The Hangover," "Between Two Ferns", "Due Date") as well as the unexpected friendship of Oscar-winning actress Renée Zellweger ("Jerry Maguire," "Bridget Jones's Diary," "Chicago"). This is the fascinating and moving story of one incredibly strong woman's survival against all odds. Defying an adulterous husband at age 55, Mimi sought a better life, and ended up on the streets of Los Angeles. Scrapping her way through life, at age 70 Mimi found her way to a Santa Monica laundromat, where she has now worked - and slept - 7-days-a-week, for 18 years.
To watch the trailer of Queen Mimi, and to be part of this successful film please visit the link below on Kickstarter there only 24 hours left to pledge:
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1300478715/queen-mimi
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2013.05.11 01:04 cooltom2006 May 10, 2013 - Me, Myself & Irene (2000)

Me, Myself & Irene

Director(s): Bobby Farrelly, Peter Farrelly

Me, Myself & Irene, an American comdedy, is directed by Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly, written by Peter Farrelly, Mike Cerrone and Bobby Farrelly, starring Jim Carrey and Renée Zellweger.
Charlie is a Rhode Island state trooper with multiple personalities. He is otherwise mild-mannered and non confrontational until somebody or something pushes him a little too far. That's when his maniacal alter-ego, Hank, takes over. Charlie is assigned on a routine mission to return alleged fugitive Irene back to upstate New York, but they wind up on the run from corrupt police officers. And their escape would be a lot simpler on everybody involved if Hank didn't keep stepping in at the most inopportune times....

Info

  • Rated R
  • Running Time: 116 minutes
  • Genre: Comedy
  • Release Date: June 23, 2000
  • Language(s): English German

Links

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